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Cold arm of the law

May 3rd 2011 03:49
: Vyoos news
cat teases german shepherds
Roads less travelled

VYOOS EDITORIAL
You'd think Alaskans would be a little more tolerant of the spirit of adventure.


An 18-year-old got himself into trouble at the weekend when playing with friends on ice at the edge of the Chena River, in the state's main city of Fairbanks.

When a large piece of ice detached itself from the riverbank where the boys were, 18-year-old Michael Poland, in a fit of youthful enthusiasm, jumped onto it and rode off down the river.

The floe, with the teen aboard, floated through the middle of town. At some point the exuberance must have waned - the river was far too cold to contemplate a swim for the shore, and soon he would be into the suburbs, and then out into the wild.

Someone called the fire brigade, which rescued the boy. As soon as they got young Michael to shore, they handcuffed him, took him to the station, locked him up, read him the riot act, and discussed whether to charge him with disorderly conduct or creating a hazardous condition for fire fighters.

In the end they charged the boy with both.

When he comes before a judge to face these charges, I hope the judge remembers that we are talking about an 18-year-old boy whose crime involves giving in to a spirit of adventure and a sense of freedom and who acted his age, which happens to be an age when derring-do comes naturally.


It is part of both the psychological and physiological make-up of 18-year-old boys to be adventurous of spirit. It is the same spirit which helps humans survive in Alaska and other inhospitable environments.

The judge should be wise. I suggest the case be dismissed and the fire fighters instructed to thank the boy for reminding them what fun is.








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The questionable Australian accent

March 4th 2011 02:49
: Vyoos news
let stalk strine

VYOOS EDITORIAL
In the news this week was a story which rated the Australian accent the world's fifth sexist. It's a safe bet there were no Aussies on the voting panel. I know no fellow Australians with particular affection for our accent. We call it Strine, which sums up the nasal twang which characterises our speech.

World's fifth-sexiest? Sexiness, it seems, is in the ear of the beholder.

It brought to mind a magazine article I read last week which quoted an Englishman describing the Australian accent as one which turns all statements into questions.

As anyone who has been in the country recently will know, this is now the accepted way of speaking in Australia. You can hear politicians, academics, TV show hosts and every 20-something in the land putting an upward inflexion on just about every sentence. I have no doubt that chief executive officers, civil celebrants, nuns, kangaroos, koalas and dingoes have adopted the habit.

It's a habit I am in a unique position to hate.

My position is that I left Australia 20 years ago, when Aussies did not speak this way, to live overseas. Sometime between then and four years ago when I returned, most spoken Aussie statements became questions. It's a major upheaval in Ocker culture. I'm still dealing with the shock. It's just not my lingo any more.

At least I have always been able to seek consolation in the written form of the language. It has always been my favourite form, perhaps because it is more difficult to corrupt.

Enter David Meagher, Editor of wish magazine, a hugely glossy insert in The Australian newspaper and so cool it doesn't use a capital letter in its name. Or is that retro-cool? Surely the gimmick has been around so long it's cliched.

Anyway, Mr Meagher has on Page 14 of today's issue a column in his name which starts: "There is something about London that seems to allow creativity to flourish. Maybe it's the weather that keeps people indoors with their thinking caps on? Or maybe it's something more ingrained in the city's culture?"

Did you spot the Aussie accent in Meagher's writing? Yes, the question marks on the second and third sentences - sentences which aren't questions.

It's spreading. It's another cane toad.

Stop it. Despite what they say overseas, it's not sexy.


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The naked woman of Tours

February 21st 2011 23:13
: Vyoos news
nude woman
An artist's impression of the proposed nude woman statue.

VYOOS EDITORIAL
The French are artistic and when the municipal authorities in Tours, in central France, announced plans for a sensational new statue on a hill overlooking the city, most people approved.

It is true that some dissented. There were those opposed to its size - at 120 feet long and 50 feet high (about 35 by 15 metres), it would be a giant. Others were opposed to the fact that statue would be of an unclothed woman.

Still, those in favour considerably outnumbered those opposed to big art and those with Victorian scruples on nudity.

That changed, however, when it was revealed that the statuesque woman would be reclining, that her legs would be slightly open, and that anatomically precise genitalia would be visible to all.

Especially the students at the Catholic boys school immediately opposite the proposed statue.

Suddenly, about half the residents of Tours are opposed to the statue, creating a dilemma for the authorities.

Should art be forced down the throats, or into the eyeballs, of a community not entirely ready to embrace it?

Of course not. Artists should not have to put up with prudes and obstructionists. If the municipal boffins and school authorities insist on preventing the schoolboys from seeing what they no doubt already have seen a thousand times on the internet, there is an obvious solution - move the school.
montrealgazette.com; image: Postmedia News
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Another Latham grotesquerie

February 4th 2011 05:53
: Vyoos news
mark latham

VYOOS EDITORIAL
Former Australian Labor Party leader and Prime Minister wannabe Mark Latham says incumbent Prime Minister Julia Gillard is incapable of empathy because she has no children


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Blinkered in rural Arkansas

January 28th 2011 02:32
: Vyoos news
david furnish elton john
David Furnish and Elton John

VYOOS EDITORIAL
Elton John is fuming, and he has every right to be. Just last week he said he was getting increasingly annoyed by anti-gay sentiment, and now this


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32
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: Vyoos news
japan teenager
He's a male teenager - of COURSE he's thinking about sex.


VYOOS EDITORIAL: A COMMITTEE STRIKES AGAIN
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Lolly pops and violent video games

November 3rd 2010 08:14
: Vyoos news
video game violence

VYOOS EDITORIAL
They are trying to make the sale of video games containing graphic violence illegal in California to people under 18


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Why Stephen Fry wasn't born to be Wilde

November 1st 2010 10:21
: Vyoos news
Oscar Wilde
The main man: Oscar Wilde

VYOOS EDITORIAL
Stephen Fry annoys me


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132
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Australia’s multicultural tomorrow

October 22nd 2010 02:24
: Vyoos news
multculturalism

VYOOS EDITORIAL
I have lost interest in the multiculturalism debate which periodically consumes Australia


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The lawman and the lap dancer

September 23rd 2010 09:16
: The lawman and the lap dancer
wyatt earp
Wyatt Earp would not be pleased

VYOOS EDITORIAL
Unemployment in the United States is close to 10 per cent, a disturbing level for a developed country, and is forecast to rise


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131
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gay pride

VYOOS EDITORIAL
Garry Martin, principal of Lepage Primary School in Melbourne, Australia, said he didn't mean to insult gays when he told his students to change the words of an iconic song


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Uchitel teaches Tiger a lesson

August 24th 2010 03:15
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ground zero mosque

VYOOS EDITORIAL
They are going to build a mosque and Islamic community centre close to Ground Zero in New York. The final obstacle to the development has just been removed with a vote by New York City's Landmarks Preservation Commission to reject landmark status for an existing building on the site. The rejection, which was unanimous, will allow for demolition of the existing building and construction of the mosque and community complex


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same sex marriage gay equality
VYOOS EDITORIAL
Julia Gillard’s honeymoon period is over. For me at least.

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