Racqueteers
September 8th 2010 03:03
The Federation for the Furtherment of Grunting in Tennis (FFGT) has reacted angrily to claims that it has failed the sport.
The federation is facing a barrage of criticism that it was "negligent" and "incompetent" in its failure to prevent the US Open quarter-final between Kim Clijsters of Belgium and Samantha Stosur of Australia going ahead.
The critics, including the More Noise in Sport activist group and the sports nostalgia body Let's Hear it from Jimmy Connors, say the federation must take responsibility for the fact that neither Clijsters nor Stosur uttered a single audible grunt during their match.
"These two haven't got an ounce of oomph!" said one shocked tennis fan. "At first, I thought my TV was buggered."
"The Federation for the Furtherment of Grunting in Tennis is taking tennis back into the dark ages," said another.
Awed television commentators could be heard discussing during the Clijsters-Stosur match the fact that neither player made a sound when hitting the ball, this despite being two of the harder hitters in the game.
"I kept expecting the umpire to intervene," said a fan in a courtside seat. "He should have called for 'Noise'."
FFGT chief executive Ize Screem has promised action. "We're calling a crisis meeting of the full Decibel Committee," Screem said. "And to show you how determined we are to stamp out this trend before it takes over our beloved game of tennis, we have invited Monica Seles."
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