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Oh boy, Billy Slater

March 23rd 2010 02:51
billy slater

VYOOS EDITORIAL
There is an impression, reading the comments and opinions about Billy Slater's sledge on Saturday, that there are two distinct codes of thinking here.

Billy Slater is a sporting god. He is probably the best rugby league player in the world, he has been named Australia's Greatest Athlete twice, he has good looks and a grin of impish charm, he has wealth and he is still only 26.


He also has, along with all public figures, a responsibility as a role model.

On Saturday night, in the heat of battle in a season-opening game between Melbourne Storm and Newcastle Knights, Slater failed his role model responsibility. Getting up close and uncomfortable with an opposition player who had taken time out of the game last year suffering depression, Slater invited him to "Go to your room and cry."

You don't play professional sport and expect to be treated like a vicar's wife at a tea party. You play with competitive fierceness. You play for your team and for your livelihood. Impose or be imposed upon. Swim or sink.

But there are codes, written and unwritten, which define lines which should not be crossed. Try putting your opponent off their game by referring to their race, sexuality or religion, for example, and you are off limits.

Slater was off limits, and was duly reprimanded for it. Well, technically, he wasn't, as it turns out the codes of behaviour of professional rugby league in Australia do not specifically cover someone insulting you on mental health grounds. But Slater was asked to report to authorities, and they had a chat, and then Slater apologised to the opponent, and his team captain apologised to the fans, and Slater issued two public statements of regret.


None of which was convincing.

“I overstepped the mark with a flippant comment,” Slater said. “What was said was insensitive given what (he) has been through over the past 18 months.''

Slater vowed to stop sledging opponents in future.

His captain, Cameron Smith, said, “I really didn't know it was going to be as big as it was. Thankfully, Bill's come out and realised that what was said was the wrong thing and that depression is a serious illness.

“Obviously, he won't be saying anything more like that on the field if he says anything at all. I think we're quite sensible enough to know that what Billy said … during the game was wrong. We can learn from that, hopefully.''

One is left with the impression that Slater and Smith have done what needed to be done. Or, at least, their media teams have. Now let’s all move on. For the gifted and privileged amongst us, that means back to the sports field, where talent and hard work make you a star and a comfortable living.

They do not, however, make you a man.



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Nothing to Crow about

May 10th 2009 06:39
adelaide crows bedding

I am a supporter of the Adelaide Crows Australian football team. I might not be for much longer. It is not that I would ever switch allegiance — it is that I age so much each time I watch the Crows play that I fear I am destined for an early exit from the stadium of life.

Adelaide has been for some time a team of promise. This means that, year after year, we finish mid-table — either the best of the worst, or the worst of the best. The one recent exception was 2006 when we finished fourth — the worst of the very best — and then put in a post-season performance which did nothing to change our long-term moderate achiever status.

I am not an expert in the finer points of modern Australian football strategies. Adelaide coach Neil Craig supposedly is an expert. He has formal qualifications in all those things you need to be an expert in these days — sports psychology, motivational speaking, what's cool and what's not in tattoos, how to spit accurately and how to kick inaccurately.

This last appears a crucial part of the Craig plan for Crows creditability. It is possible, based on the evidence of on-field performance, that they practice poor kicking. This is especially so when attempting to score. The last time Adelaide kicked more goals than points in a match, Tchaikovsky wrote the 1812 Overture to celebrate.

Craig's Crows employ a sophisticated zone defence structure which, for those who do not fully appreciate modern football tactical theory, can best be described as: huh?

The system demands that, when Adelaide is not in possession of the ball, every player crowds into opposition territory. If you can see your own goal posts, you are too close and must move further away. The Adelaide players now stand around and dare the opposition to approach. Outnumbering their opponents' offensive players by about 50 to one, the theory is that the other guys will cough up the ball. Sometimes they do, at which moment an Adelaide player takes possession and streams away down field in one of those exciting football moments of counter attack.

Then he stops, turns around, and kicks the ball backwards, because it is only in this direction that any of his team mates are to be found.

I am a supporter of the Adelaide Crows Australian football team, but it's killing me.





68
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sherlock holmes

There is astonishing news today that an Australian sports betting group has accepted a $5 wager that Geelong will finish last in this year's Australian Football League competition.

For those of you not intimate with the finer points of Aussie rules, Geelong is favourite to win the title this year and the chances of it finishing last are about the same as the sun turning green, Julia Roberts stalking me and SL Bradish writing something worth reading.

If Geelong finishes last, the $5 bet will return $2,001 and the winner can buy himself a flying pig or two.

Why would anyone place such an absurd bet?

It was while I was cleaning my teeth — when I do some of my best thinking — that the answer came to me.

It was Norm, the notorious Orble satirist and the first person to invent a new language since Tolkien!

Sherlock Holmes said that, when one has eliminated everything else, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the answer.

This always reminded me of Norm's style of writing anyway, but it returned to me while working on a bit of stuck muesli and I realised the only possible explanation for someone placing a bet on Geelong finishing last this year is Norm doing research for an Orble posting.

Admit it Norm, I'm right aren't I?

I would have made a great detective.




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eri yoshida
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January 24th 2009 07:02
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November 9th 2008 21:03
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Give us our game back Andrew 5

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Give us our game back Andrew 4

September 14th 2008 07:34
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Hello and welcome to our first Australian Football League round-up for 2012. The season began with a big Round 1 attendance, partly due to the introduction this year of two expansion teams, the Gold Coast Suntans and Western Sydney Tasmanians.

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Give us our game back Andrew 3

September 11th 2008 05:21
rugby crowd
A big sports crowd in Sydney. But look, Andrew, the game is not Australian football

A letter in Melbourne's The Age newspaper yesterday said, in part, "The AFL is guilty of gross ingratitude in failing to support the inclusion of a Tasmanian team ... A final played in Tasmania last weekend would have attracted a bigger crowd than the pathetic attendance at the Sydney-North Melbourne game ... The population (of Tasmania) is small but enthusiastic (and) in fact the population of Hobart is similar to that of Geelong, which seems to manage fairly well."

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August 4th 2008 01:23
Jane Saville
Race-walking superstar Jane Saville. Walkers are not 'sportspeople', according to bloggist Sports Insider


Sports Insider has proved himself here a believer in Voltaire's aphorism, "I don't believe a word I'm saying, but I'll defend interminably my right to say it." At least, I think that's what Voltaire said


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