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Canning Bathurst boozers

October 9th 2010 07:25
: Mount Panorama, Bathurst
bathurst, mount panorama

Every year in October, the more refined, discerning and knowledgeable of Australia's sporting fans stay well away from an event known around the country simply as The Great Race.

For some, this is about saloon cars going very fast at an iconic track known as Mount Panorama. Think Le Mans in a family sedan covered in motor oil advertisements.


For others, it is a three-day celebration of inebriation.

This sub-group of fans saves money all year so they can travel to Bathurst in October and occupy The Mountain. One of the beauties of Mount Panorama is that the cars, while they go round and round, also go up and down. A long, twisty, tortuous way up, before screaming across the top of The Mountain and then coming down again via Conrod Straight, the scariest stretch of road in the known universe where cars approach the speed of sound.

Five people, including the great Denny Hulme, have died on Conrod Straight.

Across the top of The Mountain are about 35,000 spectators who come back year after year, occupying favourite spots, bringing with them small tents and large quantities of booze. Mostly beer - other forms of alcohol are carried only as emergency supplies.

If we ignore the periodic desruction of toilet blocks by explosives and, one year, the torching of an ice-cream van, the fans on The Mountain are most well-behaved. At least, authorities hope they are. No-one really knows. It's not the sort of place where authorities go. The Australian army might survive up there, if supported by plenty of attack helicopters, and it may be that the army is secretly put on standby each October. We don't know.


What we do know is that the authorities identified a weak point last year and moved, bravely, to exploit it. It is this: at the beginning of the weekend, The Mountain-bound fans are often reasonably sober and, secondly, every one of them has to pass through entry points actually to gain access to the circuit.

So the authorities decided to limit the amount of alcohol they could bring in for the weekend. This was a brave move indeed, but they did it, and it was announced this week that they are doing it again this year.

It's the same limit again: every person entering the Mount Panorama circuit is allowed to bring in no more than one case of full-strength beer or one cask of wine.

Per person.

Per day.

A case of beer contains 24 cans, so applying mathematics which even some of the fans on The Mountain have a chance of following, that means they are limited to one can of beer per hour for the weekend. Any time spent sleeping would provide a boost to per-hour averages - okay, sorry, getting complicated.

Has this initiative been responsible for a significant change in alcohol consumption levels and social behaviour patterns up at the top of Mount Panorama? We'll never know, unless they send the army in.

bathurst, mount panorama

bathurst, mount panorama





103
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Racqueteers

September 8th 2010 03:03
sharapova scream

The Federation for the Furtherment of Grunting in Tennis (FFGT) has reacted angrily to claims that it has failed the sport.

The federation is facing a barrage of criticism that it was "negligent" and "incompetent" in its failure to prevent the US Open quarter-final between Kim Clijsters of Belgium and Samantha Stosur of Australia going ahead.

The critics, including the More Noise in Sport activist group and the sports nostalgia body Let's Hear it from Jimmy Connors, say the federation must take responsibility for the fact that neither Clijsters nor Stosur uttered a single audible grunt during their match.

"These two haven't got an ounce of oomph!" said one shocked tennis fan. "At first, I thought my TV was buggered."

"The Federation for the Furtherment of Grunting in Tennis is taking tennis back into the dark ages," said another.

Awed television commentators could be heard discussing during the Clijsters-Stosur match the fact that neither player made a sound when hitting the ball, this despite being two of the harder hitters in the game.

"I kept expecting the umpire to intervene," said a fan in a courtside seat. "He should have called for 'Noise'."

FFGT chief executive Ize Screem has promised action. "We're calling a crisis meeting of the full Decibel Committee," Screem said. "And to show you how determined we are to stamp out this trend before it takes over our beloved game of tennis, we have invited Monica Seles."







66
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Oh boy, Billy Slater

March 23rd 2010 02:51
billy slater

VYOOS EDITORIAL
There is an impression, reading the comments and opinions about Billy Slater's sledge on Saturday, that there are two distinct codes of thinking here.

Billy Slater is a sporting god. He is probably the best rugby league player in the world, he has been named Australia's Greatest Athlete twice, he has good looks and a grin of impish charm, he has wealth and he is still only 26.

He also has, along with all public figures, a responsibility as a role model.

On Saturday night, in the heat of battle in a season-opening game between Melbourne Storm and Newcastle Knights, Slater failed his role model responsibility. Getting up close and uncomfortable with an opposition player who had taken time out of the game last year suffering depression, Slater invited him to "Go to your room and cry."

You don't play professional sport and expect to be treated like a vicar's wife at a tea party. You play with competitive fierceness. You play for your team and for your livelihood. Impose or be imposed upon. Swim or sink.

But there are codes, written and unwritten, which define lines which should not be crossed. Try putting your opponent off their game by referring to their race, sexuality or religion, for example, and you are off limits.

Slater was off limits, and was duly reprimanded for it. Well, technically, he wasn't, as it turns out the codes of behaviour of professional rugby league in Australia do not specifically cover someone insulting you on mental health grounds. But Slater was asked to report to authorities, and they had a chat, and then Slater apologised to the opponent, and his team captain apologised to the fans, and Slater issued two public statements of regret.

None of which was convincing.

“I overstepped the mark with a flippant comment,” Slater said. “What was said was insensitive given what (he) has been through over the past 18 months.''

Slater vowed to stop sledging opponents in future.

His captain, Cameron Smith, said, “I really didn't know it was going to be as big as it was. Thankfully, Bill's come out and realised that what was said was the wrong thing and that depression is a serious illness.

“Obviously, he won't be saying anything more like that on the field if he says anything at all. I think we're quite sensible enough to know that what Billy said … during the game was wrong. We can learn from that, hopefully.''

One is left with the impression that Slater and Smith have done what needed to be done. Or, at least, their media teams have. Now let’s all move on. For the gifted and privileged amongst us, that means back to the sports field, where talent and hard work make you a star and a comfortable living.

They do not, however, make you a man.



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September 21st 2008 07:59
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Hello and welcome to our first Australian Football League round-up for 2012. The season began with a big Round 1 attendance, partly due to the introduction this year of two expansion teams, the Gold Coast Suntans and Western Sydney Tasmanians.

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Give us our game back Andrew 3

September 11th 2008 05:21
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A big sports crowd in Sydney. But look, Andrew, the game is not Australian football

A letter in Melbourne's The Age newspaper yesterday said, in part, "The AFL is guilty of gross ingratitude in failing to support the inclusion of a Tasmanian team ... A final played in Tasmania last weekend would have attracted a bigger crowd than the pathetic attendance at the Sydney-North Melbourne game ... The population (of Tasmania) is small but enthusiastic (and) in fact the population of Hobart is similar to that of Geelong, which seems to manage fairly well."

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