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Nothing to Crow about

May 10th 2009 06:39
adelaide crows bedding

I am a supporter of the Adelaide Crows Australian football team. I might not be for much longer. It is not that I would ever switch allegiance — it is that I age so much each time I watch the Crows play that I fear I am destined for an early exit from the stadium of life.


Adelaide has been for some time a team of promise. This means that, year after year, we finish mid-table — either the best of the worst, or the worst of the best. The one recent exception was 2006 when we finished fourth — the worst of the very best — and then put in a post-season performance which did nothing to change our long-term moderate achiever status.

I am not an expert in the finer points of modern Australian football strategies. Adelaide coach Neil Craig supposedly is an expert. He has formal qualifications in all those things you need to be an expert in these days — sports psychology, motivational speaking, what's cool and what's not in tattoos, how to spit accurately and how to kick inaccurately.

This last appears a crucial part of the Craig plan for Crows creditability. It is possible, based on the evidence of on-field performance, that they practice poor kicking. This is especially so when attempting to score. The last time Adelaide kicked more goals than points in a match, Tchaikovsky wrote the 1812 Overture to celebrate.

Craig's Crows employ a sophisticated zone defence structure which, for those who do not fully appreciate modern football tactical theory, can best be described as: huh?


The system demands that, when Adelaide is not in possession of the ball, every player crowds into opposition territory. If you can see your own goal posts, you are too close and must move further away. The Adelaide players now stand around and dare the opposition to approach. Outnumbering their opponents' offensive players by about 50 to one, the theory is that the other guys will cough up the ball. Sometimes they do, at which moment an Adelaide player takes possession and streams away down field in one of those exciting football moments of counter attack.

Then he stops, turns around, and kicks the ball backwards, because it is only in this direction that any of his team mates are to be found.

I am a supporter of the Adelaide Crows Australian football team, but it's killing me.





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sherlock holmes

There is astonishing news today that an Australian sports betting group has accepted a $5 wager that Geelong will finish last in this year's Australian Football League competition.

For those of you not intimate with the finer points of Aussie rules, Geelong is favourite to win the title this year and the chances of it finishing last are about the same as the sun turning green, Julia Roberts stalking me and SL Bradish writing something worth reading.

If Geelong finishes last, the $5 bet will return $2,001 and the winner can buy himself a flying pig or two.

Why would anyone place such an absurd bet?

It was while I was cleaning my teeth — when I do some of my best thinking — that the answer came to me.

It was Norm, the notorious Orble satirist and the first person to invent a new language since Tolkien!

Sherlock Holmes said that, when one has eliminated everything else, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the answer.

This always reminded me of Norm's style of writing anyway, but it returned to me while working on a bit of stuck muesli and I realised the only possible explanation for someone placing a bet on Geelong finishing last this year is Norm doing research for an Orble posting.

Admit it Norm, I'm right aren't I?

I would have made a great detective.




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Baseballer, or girly gimmick?

March 29th 2009 02:41
eri yoshida
Eri Yoshida

The knee-jerk knockers are out to write off the professional baseball career of Eri Yoshida before it gets started.

Eri, a 17-year-old Japanese high school student, made the news on Friday by being the first female to play in a men's professional baseball league in Japan. See the Associated Press story here and the Vyoos version here.

It is predictable that there will be a mixed reaction. There will be well-wishers who see it is a happy ending to a story of someone who dared to dream. There will be purists who are uncomfortable. There will be doubters. And there will be those who choose to mock.

Amongst the last is Rob Neyer, described as a 'senior writer' on espn.com. Neyer wrote, "Hmmm, let's see … five feet and 114 pounds … what happens when the enemy hitters start dropping bunts into that tricky area between the pitcher's mound and the third-base line? Will Yoshida have the quickness and the arm strength to throw anyone out at first base?"

The heading on the story was, "Female knuckleballer in Japan out of her league".

A knuckleballer is a pitcher with an unusual delivery which depends more on skill than strength. It is therefore, as David Pinto wrote in a comment to Rob Neyer's article, a logical path for women to professional baseball.

As for the rest, Neyer could have chosen to wait and find out the answers to his questions.

When Eri Yoshida took the step up onto that pitcher's mound on Friday night, she was a young baseballer with long-term hopes of establishing a career in professional sport and a short-term job to do. That's what her coach, her team management and the woman herself saw. What Rob Neyer saw was a girl and a sneering headline opportunity.

images: sportsillustrated.cnn.com, jhockey.wordpress.com




eri yoshida

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Schoolgirl's special K

March 28th 2009 02:56
eri yoshida
Eri Yoshida, baseball player

Eri Yoshida, a 17-year-old Japanese schoolgirl, stands five feet zero inches tall and weighs 114 pounds (for those who prefer metric measurements, that's: short and light).

[ Click here to read more ]
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Daring to win

January 24th 2009 07:02
basketball womens

Sport, like politics, is about daring to win.

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Fathers and sons on side

November 9th 2008 21:03
fathers and son cricket

Most weekends you'll only find seven names on the list for the Pine Rivers Hawks cricket team in Queensland. But that's okay because those seven blokes always bring their seven sons so they have more than enough to take the field.

[ Click here to read more ]
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barrie robran
Barrie Charles Robran MBE, the best Australian rules player ever

I am not a man given to strong opinion or repetition of sentiment, but I think Melbourne, Victoria, should be cauterized, razed and raked into the sea. I loathe and detest and abhor Melbourne, and I am furious that my thesaurus doesn't have more synonyms for the sentiment.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Give us our game back Andrew 5

September 21st 2008 07:59
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Give us our game back Andrew 4

September 14th 2008 07:34
man and dog
April 2012, Round 1, Australian Football League: Crowd scene at the first Western Sydney Football Club game

Hello and welcome to our first Australian Football League round-up for 2012. The season began with a big Round 1 attendance, partly due to the introduction this year of two expansion teams, the Gold Coast Suntans and Western Sydney Tasmanians.

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Give us our game back Andrew 3

September 11th 2008 05:21
rugby crowd
A big sports crowd in Sydney. But look, Andrew, the game is not Australian football

A letter in Melbourne's The Age newspaper yesterday said, in part, "The AFL is guilty of gross ingratitude in failing to support the inclusion of a Tasmanian team ... A final played in Tasmania last weekend would have attracted a bigger crowd than the pathetic attendance at the Sydney-North Melbourne game ... The population (of Tasmania) is small but enthusiastic (and) in fact the population of Hobart is similar to that of Geelong, which seems to manage fairly well."

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spanish basketball chinese gesture

Using sport and sports people in corporate advertising can work well when it's done well. But whatever money Spanish courier company Seur spent on its latest promotional campaign, it was money well-wasted.

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Nike
Nike, the Greek Goddess of strength, speed and victory - I don't think she likes me

It is 8am Friday morning, the auspicious eighth day of the eighth month of the year 2008, and my girlfriend isn't feeling the love.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Talk the walk 2

August 4th 2008 01:23
Jane Saville
Race-walking superstar Jane Saville. Walkers are not 'sportspeople', according to bloggist Sports Insider


Sports Insider has proved himself here a believer in Voltaire's aphorism, "I don't believe a word I'm saying, but I'll defend interminably my right to say it." At least, I think that's what Voltaire said


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Talk the walk

July 31st 2008 07:49
nathan deakes
Nathan Deakes and a great sporting moment
(Picture: Getty Images)

Long-standing Orble bloggist "Sports Insider" insists in this post that many of the events at the Olympic Games will not be worth the television time. Indeed, he (she?) claims that some Olympic "activities" are "non-sports" and promises to reveal them over the coming month


[ Click here to read more ]
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