Do single women prefer attached men?
August 13th 2009 00:51
The question has been around ever since Eve stole Adam from his first wife, but has recently been given an entertaining new airing by writer Justin Prugh. He uses Eve as an example too, citing her biting of the forbidden apple as evidence that all women get excited by what they can't have.
"In the Garden of Eden," writes Prugh, "Eve sinks her teeth into the one piece of fruit that God instructed her to avoid. So began a long line of women who wanted, oh so badly, what they could not have. We see the same trend continue today with women staring longingly at designer shoes, fawning over limited-edition jewelry and above all, chasing after already spoken-for men. Be it human or handbag, the more tantalizingly out of reach it is, the more appealing it becomes."
I said it was an entertaining new airing, not a necessarily a correct one.
Emma-Kate Dobbin, an editor at askmen.com, says, "In my opinion, this issue of women (and come to think of it – men too) wanting what they can’t have comes down to a lack of originality or confidence in following their own vision. Instead of finding someone else out there who is single, they need to go after someone who has already proved their romantic worth to others."
Dobbin's theory may be especially true of younger adults, receiving support in a new study by social psychologists Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker. In the study, results of which were published in this month's issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, a participating group of male and female university students was shown a series of profiles of other young people, and asked their reactions in terms of romantic attraction and possibility. Half the participants were told possible matches were single, while the other half were told the same person was currently in a committed relationship.
The men described as single averaged 59 per cent of positive responses from single women. The men described as being in a committed relationship averaged 90 per cent positive responses from single women.
Neither single nor attached men showed the same preference, and neither did attached women.
“This finding indicates that single women are considerably more interested in pursuing a man who is less available to them,” said Dr Burkley. “This may be because a man who is attached has already shown his ability to commit and, in a sense, has been pre-screened by another woman.”
Beware single women carrying apples.
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Even if they work in a fruitshop. Or handle snakes.
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Of course, you couldn't quite possibly work out what attracts...but if he's taken, he's off-limits.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I'm sitting on it, right now.
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
It's ancient, much-proffered wisdom that an attached man willing to jump ship once is obviously high-risk of doing it again. That just makes the results of this study all the more ... I don't know the right word here ... interesting? odd? illogical?
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
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The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
Ready, set, remote.
Comment by Sim1
Fish on Film
The Lives and Souls of Bella-Mae
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Pop Rock Factory
Try this link
In my experience there's nearly always other motives or insecurities involved - on both sides.
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
As Ambrose Bierce told us, there is nothing new under the sun, and all great bloggers will bring fresh discussion to old issues. Well, Ambrose said the first half of that, anyway.
We even found the same picture to illustrate our posts! What does that say about our image of single women?