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Who wants to be a solitaire?

January 4th 2010 00:11
lifegem diamond
Technology is marvellous with so many amazing things achievable nowadays. For example, just how deprived were our grandparents who lived in a time when, if a loved one died, it was not possible to turn their remains into a diamond?

Today it is. Just go to www.lifegem.com and see.


The American company says, "Your LifeGem memorial will offer comfort and support when and where you need it, and provide a lasting memory that endures just as a diamond does. Forever."

Just in case you have found the opening paragraphs of this article surreal, or find yourself blinking rapidly and repeatedly saying "Huh?", let us put this plainly: LifeGem takes the corpse of your loved one, and burns it, and gathers the carbon, and turns it into a diamond and, after you hand over a lot of money, gives you the gem.

Is this morbid or perhaps tacky? Heck, no!

"If you desire an everlasting connection to the one you have lost, the LifeGem is right for you. Each LifeGem, as a celebration of life, tells a unique story and represents a new beginning," says the company blurb.

The process, LifeGem says, involves six months during which the ashes are heated to produce graphite which is then placed into a diamond press and subjected to high pressure. What comes out is a raw crystal that is then polished and shaped. You can even choose your own colour — blue, red, green, yellow and "now even colorless" are available.


"Like a sunset captured in time or a wave upon the ocean, each LifeGem will have its own individual hue within the color family you choose."

The managing director of LifeGem in the UK, David Hampson, told the BBC, "Some people may think that it's not for them and we expect a lot of people will feel like that. But it really is a 21st Century version of Victorian mourning jewellery, of chopping off a piece of hair and putting it in a locket."

Nice try David, but we'll stick with the hair in a locket option.

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iPhoney

November 20th 2008 13:25
iPhone

A man discovered by his wife to be taking pictures of his genitals with his iPhone and then sending the pictures to another woman, has denied responsibility. It was all due, he said, to an "iPhone glitch".

The iPhone is Apple's glitzy entry into mobile telephony. The man, whom we shall call Gerald, was rumbled by his wife, whom we shall call Susan, after Susan decided to inspect Gerald's sleek new iPhone, and found the unexpected pictures in the sent folder.

Susan confronted her husband, who admitted he had taken the pictures but denied sending them to anyone. The glitch, he said, was a known iPhone issue. He had been told this, he said, by the people at the local Apple store. No photos had actually been sent - pictures "sometimes automatically attach themselves to an e-mail address and appear in the sent folder, even though no e-mail was ever sent", said Gerald.

Susan, unconvinced, decided to seek expert opinion. Where else, she reasoned, but the online Apple support forums. There she went and told the whole story and asked for guidance. Her marriage, she wrote, depended on it.

Susan's post attracted a variety of comments and advice.

"It's a glitch, but only happens if the pic is sufficiently raunchy," wrote one reader.

"I think your marriage has a glitch" wrote another.

In time, Susan also learned that the glitch issue had never previously been reported on Apple's support forums, and none of the users who replied to her post had ever heard of it.

Susan has written one final comment on the Apple forum, announcing that she has instigated divorce proceedings and thanking everyone for their input.
news.com.au


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