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A drink with a friend before your wedding is a tradition Siobahn Watson was determined to follow. Now she wishes she hadn't.

Watson, 24, of Manchester, England, a telesales assistant, was engaged to Aaron Todd, also 24, a bricklayer. A white Rolls-Royce had been hired, the bridal party's gowns had been designed, fitted and paid for, guests had been invited and a lot of money had been spent on the function at which everyone would celebrate the happy day.

Unfortunately, Watson's final drink as a single woman turned into something of a final fling as a single woman. Not all the details have been released, but we can read between the sheets.

Some hours before her wedding, Watson went out for that fateful drink with the unnamed "friend". They drank. They drank some more. At some point Watson lost her mobile phone. At some other point, the two stopped drinking and went to a motel.

We know only two things for certain that went on in that motel room. One is that Siobahn Watson went to sleep. We know that because we have been told the other thing that happened: she woke up.

She woke at about the same time that she was supposed to be saying, "I do."

Later, Watson was quoted as saying, "When I realised I had missed my own wedding, I started shaking. I could not believe I had been so stupid."

Aaron Todd, who had spent longer than expected standing, alone, by the altar, while friends and family tried continuously to ring Siobahn on her lost mobile phone, was quoted as saying, "She won't get a second chance.''

dailystar.co.uk; image: firstpersonsingular.org

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Dating, Europe, UK, Human nature, Odd Spot, Romance, Sex

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Today's news: bowser bonk

February 9th 2010 07:13

The trial continues of an Australian man who was having sexual intercourse with a woman in a vehicle at a petrol station and who refused to stop having sexual intercourse despite police arriving and requesting him to do so.

The court was told that police indicated from outside the locked vehicle that they wanted the couple to cease having sex. Exactly how the police indicated their requirements was not made clear in media reports of the court case.

The police arrived at the petrol station, the court in Darwin was told today, because the petrol station attendant could see the pair "kissing passionately", and because he could hear loud moaning, and because the woman was "moving in ways that gave the impression the pair was having sexual intercourse''.

It is known that the accused, named as Lionel Mark William Spratt, was asleep for at least some of these events. Spratt's Legal Aid lawyer, Matthew Hubber, told the court that the vehicle, owned by Spratt, was being driven by the woman because Spratt had "been on drugs all day at Litchfield National Park" and was asleep. When the woman had pulled into the petrol station, the lawyer said, she had exited the driver's side, climbed into the passenger's side, and climbed onto the lap of Spratt.

The act of sex had then commenced.

The prosecutor in the case, Scott Tierney, told the court that the police, when they arrived, asked the couple to stop having sex. The couple, however, had not complied, and police had been unable to arrest Spratt, due to the vehicle being locked, until the sex had ended, 27 minutes later.

The case has been adjourned until tomorrow when the Chief Magistrate, Jenny Blokland, will pass sentence.

Northern Territory News

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Australia/NZ/Pacific, Australia, Law, Odd Spot, Sex

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Shrek's hard luck story

November 26th 2008 22:42

Warning: do no read this post if you are offended by references to parrots or feather hats or sleeping women named Jackie.

Or sex.

Jackie Lucking, a mother of three from Essex, England, had been to a christening. She wore her best feather hat.

Now the story turns murky. When Jackie arrived back home, she went to sleep on her sofa wearing her hat. It is unclear why Jackie did this. Had she imbibed a little too much christening wine? Or did she did she regularly mix hats, sofas and sleep?

Anyway, imagine Jackie snoozing peacefully, a loose feather rising and falling rhythmically in her breath stream. And now imagine the arrival of the second protagonist in our story. His name is Shrek, and he is a parrot, and he is in a state of sexual arousal.

His excitement is due, it has been determined, to the ingestion of nine SlimNSexy diet pills. These pills, carelessly left around by Jackie, are claimed by the manufacturer also to stimulate sexual urges.

The manufacturer will be happy to know that, for parrots at least, their claim is manifestly true. Shrek, flying into the living room, full of SlimNSexy pills and wanting nothing more in this world than a feathered friend to fornicate with, saw Jackie's hat.

Shrek didn't hesitate. With a shriek, Shrek pounced.

With a shriek, Jackie woke, aroused by an aroused parrot bonking the hat on her head.

"He turned into a maniac," she told her local tabloid. "All he wanted was to get his wing over. It’s disgusting."

Someone prone to wearing feather hats and leaving SlimNSexy pills around the house may well judge this as disgusting. In the circumstances, we see it as a perfectly reasonable flight of fancy.

www.news.com; image: www.theartfulhatcompany.co.uk

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Animals, Odd Spot, Sex

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iPhoney

November 20th 2008 13:25

A man discovered by his wife to be taking pictures of his genitals with his iPhone and then sending the pictures to another woman, has denied responsibility. It was all due, he said, to an "iPhone glitch".

[ Click here to read more ]

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