Be upstanding please, let the show begin
February 19th 2009 23:50
Kate Winslet: lifetime award for overexposure
It was a glittering night in celebrityville - red carpets, drum rolls, champagne and a big crowd of fans rigid with excitement. Yes, cinema lovers, the 10th Annual Anatomy Awards had come again.
The awards are presented each year by MrSkin.com, which claims to be the world's number one resource for celebrity nudity news.
MrSkin.com is run by a man named Pete McMurray who has built his business around nude women. Mr McMurray does not believe in letting equal opportunity issues interfere with his business ambitions.
You can tell he's a class act by the front page of his web site which asks potential customers, "Want to see Eva Mendes nude? How about Natalie Portman's ass or Marisa Tomei's tits?" These photographs, it is safe to assume, are offered without the time-consuming effort of seeking permission from the possessor of the said anatomical parts.
So Mr McMurray can fairly be categorised, and forgive us if we defer to the technical terminology of advanced demography here, as a sexist, predatory sleazebucket.
As such he should of course be given no publicity at all, and we urge all readers not to look at the following list of selected 2009 Anatomy Award winners.
Asia Argento
Lifetime Skinchievement Award
Kate Winslet
Best Butt
Anna Faris, The House Bunny
Best Boobs
Asia Argento, The Last Mistress, Boarding Gate and Mother of Tears
Best Full Frontal
Carpice Benedetti, Brotherhood
Best Lesbian Scene
Alicia Leigh Willis and Katherine Moennig, The L Word
Best Bath Scene
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Best First-Time Nude Scene
Lizzy Caplan, True Blood
Best Oscar-Nominated Nudity
Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler
Best Adult Star Gone Hollywood
Katie Morgan, Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Most Rumptastic Reality TV Nudity
Kim Kardashian, Keeping Up with the Kardashians
images: mrskin.com/anatomyawards, hollywood-celebrity-pictures. com
Katie Morgan
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