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Leadership Politics - Vyoos

Australias multicultural tomorrow

October 22nd 2010 02:24

: Vyoos news

VYOOS EDITORIAL
I have lost interest in the multiculturalism debate which periodically consumes Australia.

The debate springs to life every so often, invariably with passion and earnest argument from all points, usually started by old politicians finding support waning or new politicians needing to build support.

IÂm sick of it.

Former conservative Australian Prime Minister John Howard made global headlines last month by claiming the English-speaking world had generally confused multiracialism and multiculturalism. Its Howard thats confusing, but I dont care.

Australian-based, British journalist Pallavi Jain said this week that multiculturalism is dead. If she really believes that, its her brain thats dead, but Im over it.

In a speech in the Australian parliament yesterday, the Federal Member for Calwell, Maria Vamvakinou, accused both major political parties of abandoning multiculturalism and leaving Âthe field open to its enemies.

Maria, I dont care any more, and neither should you.

The only concern I have is that Australia will change its immigration policy. The politicians can grandstand all they like, so long as they dont meddle with our current immigration mix.

I see the results of that policy when I walk through the Footscray pedestrian mall. Muslim head scarves. Jewish beards. African faces. Vietnamese shop signs. Indian supermarkets. Chinese restaurants full of Chinese-speaking people.

Not all urban malls are as colourful and diverse as this probably few in the world are. Im just lucky to live close by.

Thats where multiculturalism is alive and well. That is where we can see today the vibrant, rich and culturally diverse landscape which is the Australia of tomorrow.

They are building that tomorrow in the corridors of the Department of Immigration. Down there, away from the bright lights and glaring egos, they are getting on with the job.

They probably dont care any more about multiculturalism than I do. They dont need labels to describe what theyre achieving, because the labels just become political footballs.

No labels, no egos and precious little acknowledgement. Just achievement. And that I care about.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Interracial relationships, Leadership, Politics, Vyoos Editorial

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UN denies appointment of an Alien Ambassador

September 28th 2010 07:38

: Alien Ambassador

An emergency meeting of the Intergalactic Outreach Program, Milky Way Department, Minor and Primitive Species Sub-Committee, is "spitting mad" at Planet Earth, Vyoos has learned.

The information came from a steward who took a tea trolley into the sub-committee meeting. The steward, who spoke to Vyoos on condition of strict anonymity and payment of an unreasonably large amount of money, said he thought the sub-committee members were "extremely irritated" because Earthlings had caused an "unnecessary" meeting of the sub-committee.

That meeting is believed to have been called as a matter of top priority after an announcement on Earth that the United Nations, a large organistion dedicated to small talk, had decided to appoint an Alien Ambassador. The position was described by the UN as "somone in charge of making contact with extraterrestrials".

The news was broken by London's The Sunday Times. Vyoos would love to give you a link to the story, but we can't because The Sunday Times is one of the few newspapers in the known universe which charges for access to its web site.

The Sunday Times, according to other media reports about its report, named the Alien Ambassador as Mazlan Othman, the Malaysian-born, Vienna-based astrophysicist who is Director of the United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs.

That's when the Intergalactic Outreach Program demanded its Milky Way Department do something. "We don't want to reach out to those pathetic primitives on Earth," a terse memo said. "Find out if this decision means their hopelessly ancient technology has given them a sniff of the existence of intelligent life elsewhere." The Milky Way Department immediately ordered the emergency meeting of the Minor and Primitive Species Sub-Committee.

It was just minutes after the start of that meeting that news came through that Earth's United Nations had issued a statement denying the report in The Sunday Times. It was, the UN said, "nonsense". Ms Othman quickly issued her own statement confirming the UN statement. There would be no appointment, and there never had been an intention to appoint, an Alien Ambassador.

The Sunday Times was not available for comment.

His Excellency the Honourable Schneckle Floowoorty, chairman of the Minor and Primitive Species Sub-Committee, said, "What the devil are those Earthlings playing at? I was hauled out of a Magellanic Pleasure Chamber for this meeting. And, dammit, where's the tea trolley?"

aolnews.com, newslite.tv, vancouversun.com, nypost.com

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Bureaucracy, Leadership, Politics

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A planet of barbarians

September 18th 2010 08:46

During a recent conversation, a friend argued that if there were lots of other sentient beings in the universe, as is commonly supposed, surely they would have visited us. We can dismiss UFO sightings, which are common but useless in that they all stop short of being verifiable. So where are they? Why haven't all these supposedly advanced civilisations answered the radio signals we have been sending into space for years?

It's a fair question. The human mind has a bit of trouble grasping the concept of infinity, but the universe is supposed to be infinite, giving rise to the argument that, with all the possible combinations of environmental factors and all the planets zipping around all the suns out there, there is an infinite number of life forms.

Oh yeah? So why haven't the more developed ones dropped by for a cup of tea and a bit of intergalactic gossip?

The answer, another friend suggested, is that we aren't developed enough. Some of us like to see ourselves as a civilised, sophisticated and technologically advanced race, but in the eyes of a truly advanced and civilised species, we are primitives. Little better than apes, and that might be optimistic. Intergalactic insect status, probably.

Hell, we still fight wars!

Say no more. Passing space ships would take a quick look at Afghanistan and some of the seedier thought waves coming out of our houses of parliament, and make a mental note to come back in 10,000 years.

If you're still not convinced, here's some recent news items from Australia which would reinforce Earth folks' ranking as slightly evolved cockroaches.

Three students on a school camp took an iron bar and used it to beat a kangaroo to death.

A group of university students established a Facebook page to promote their beliefs, which they described as "pro-rape, anti-consent''.

Federal Opposition Leader Tony Abbott said, "What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing ... ''.

Who cares what Abbott thinks the housewives of Australia need to understand? I'll tell you who doesn't care: intelligent beings from elsewhere. They've sent home a starwarp-memo:

Re Planet Earth, Spiral 7, Milky Way: Barbarians. Don't come back while A. Abbott is still around.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Australia, Human nature, Leadership, Politics

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