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G8 chatfest under way

July 7th 2008 00:38
G8 protest march Japan
Protestors welcome the G8 leaders to this year's meeting
Picture: Reuters

And here is the main news item being reported around the world three days from now: G8 leaders have just concluded a landmark meeting in Japan by signing a series of initiatives which are being hailed as a breakthrough in international willingness to confront climate change.


Unfortunately, the chances of that item leading the news on Wednesday evening are remote, despite climate change being high on the agenda.

The 34th summit of the Group of Eight industrialised nations (the US, the UK, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Russia and Canada) takes place from July 7 to 9 in Toyako, Hokkaido, northern Japan. It will welcome three new chums in Japanese Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda, Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

It will farewell US President George W. Bush. One can only wonder what the leaders will write on the farewell card.

Last year's G8 summit in Germany agreed to "seriously consider" a global goal of halving greenhouse gas emissions by 2050, but wide differences amongst the G8, and even wider differences between advanced and developing countries, raise serious doubts about the chances of progress beyond last year's statement of intention.


An official with the French delegation said, "Will the effort to be announced by the G8 be convincing enough to get the emerging countries to say 'OK, we're ready now to come on board'? If we can get that in writing at Toyako, we'll have done our job," Well, that's hopeful, but the official does not appear to have announced any French determination to prod, herd and cajole the other seven into being "convincing enough".

Canadian Environment Minister John Baird said en route to Japan, "I don't think we're expecting a deal. That will come under the UN auspices in Copenhagen next year." No hope there.

Dubbya merely repeated his broken-record mantra that Washington will only set targets if big emerging economies are on board as well.

So will anyone take this splendid opportunity to be brave and bold and confront the environmental problems which are screaming to be confronted? Or will we, again, be fed hot air and cheap words?
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Hush flush

July 5th 2008 05:27
toilet paper hat
A fine example of the Japanese art of chindogu

The big news from Japan this week is yet another major invention. From the land which brought us seedless watermelons, cockroach swatting slippers and the hands-free umbrella, comes the soundless toilet.

The design, by Japan's Inax Corporation, was granted a US patent this week. We liked the way The Age newspaper in Australia reported that the unit "muffles the sound of water flushing but does not reduce the noise emitted by the person using the toilet". Buyer beware, although Japanese inventors are no doubt working on a solution to that problem too.

The Japanese actually have a word, chindogu, for the art of inventing everyday gadgets. They have a proud history of it. The list of inventions includes a fan which can be suspended from a chop stick to cool food as it makes the journey from bowl to mouth, the toilet paper hat (pictured above) and a tie with pockets.

It is in the area of toilets that they have a particularly rich inventive tradition. Thomas Crapper may have invented the modern toilet, but the Japanese have made it the sophisticated thing it is today. Consider this report from Charles Platt (at Link) "The 'Incredible Squirting Toilet' has achieved almost total market penetration ... it even appears in fast-food restaurants and in public facilities in railroad stations.

"As you lower yourself to the thermostatically warmed seat, a concealed motor whirs briefly, providing your first clue that you are about to encounter a piece of highly sophisticated technology. The toilet then remains silent and passive until you reach the point where you would normally apply paper. Instead, you hit the spray button. A hidden tube extends itself beneath you, and with the precision of a heat-seeking missile, it directs a spray of warm water that simultaneously tickles, stimulates, and cleans the place that needs it most. While its aim is meticulous, you can adjust its penetration by gently flexing your sphincter muscle.

"The experience is so unexpectedly and uniquely pleasurable, I found myself tempted to visit the toilet repeatedly just for recreational purposes."

It's a relief to find such delicately worded postings. I can't wait to try it. Recreational purposes indeed.
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