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Call of the wild

November 27th 2008 00:11
duck calling

The attention of sports fans everywhere will be on Stuttgart, Arkansas, this weekend for the the 73rd Annual World Duck Calling Championship.

The 2008 final will be held on Friday and Saturday, 28-29 November, and 70 contestants are preparing for the event, which we will try not to call a quack-off.


The tournament's spokesperson, Stephen Bell, said four great prizes awaited the winner.

First there is the title of World Champion Duck Caller. (No wise quacks please.)

Second, there is a cash prize of $8,000. (This might have been more, but negotiations for live global television coverage did not materialise. ESPN Outdoors will, however, televise the event locally.)

Third, there is a commemorative ring. Yee-har.

And fourth, in the clear, ringing words of Stephen Bell, the winner "becomes a big-time celebrity in town".

The town, let us remind you, is not Stuttgart, Germany, home of Mercedes-Benz and one of the Europe's greatest opera houses, but Stuttgart, Arkansas, home of the World Duck Calling Championship.

The winner becomes “really well known locally," says Mr Bell. "That’s why the competition is so fierce. Everyone wants their son to be a champion duck caller.”

Are daughters not allowed to aspire to duck-calling glory?

Mr Bell says winners often use their newfound fame in the duck hunting world to create a line of duck calls, duck hunting clothing, and even parlay into the world of politics (the mayor of Stuttgart is considered "one of the best duck callers ever").


Stuttgart, Arkansas, has its own community web page here which, in a deft bit of word play, promotes Stuttgart as a "a natural place to call home".

So tie up your pet ducks this weekend folks, lest they hear upon the breezes soft beckonings from Arkansas way.

www.flashnews.com; image: assets.espn.go.com


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Call me, collect

October 22nd 2008 04:13
match boxes
Can you match this?

We all collect stuff, right? You don't really have to answer that - I just thought I'd entertain myself, if no-one else, with a list of things I collect - in several senses of the word.

Books
Not much to say here really. Maybe this doesn't even belong on this list. Can you collect things you can't live without? Books are life. I think they collect me rather than the other way around. I had about 3,000 of them. And then about a year ago, in one fateful, dismal, cheerless, heartbreaking afternoon I did what I had needed to do for years - I cut the number back to about 800. I may never recover from the horror of that day.

Match boxes
They are kept in a tall glass jar and they tell the story of my peripatetic life better than any post card collection could. And they are easier to pack and move than books.

Stationery
My father had a stationery fetish. He loved pens. He had an assortment of bulldog clips arranged by size. He got excited when paper clips became available in different colours and coatings. Most of all, however, he loved paper. Fresh, clean paper was a beautiful thing to him. Did I hear you mumble something about weird? Listen up. I am exactly the same, and there are strong indications that my eight-year-old daughter is going to make it a third generation afflicted by the stationery fetish.

Lists
Another fetish. A few years ago I was discussing a minor problem of some sort with my bother. "I don't know what to do," I said. "Make a list," he said. "You will anyway. You always make a list." I was stunned. It's not that he was wrong - it's that I didn't realise that my secret wasn't a secret.

Mobile phones

This one isn't intentional. At my age, it seems like the mobile phone was invented just yesterday. But if that's so, how is it that I seem to have old ones in every drawer? When can I start selling them to museums?

chess pieces
image: houseofstaunton.com

Chess sets
Believe me, this can become so expensive that you dare not tell those nearest and dearest to you, such as your accountant, that you are planning to acquire another 19th-century Staunton in ebony and rosewood.

Odd socks
I know, everyone collects these. But it gives me a chance to ask one of my favourite brain teaser questions: If you had 10 loose blue socks and 10 loose red socks mixed up in a drawer in a completely dark room, how many socks would you need to take from the drawer to guarantee you had a pair? (Answer in the comments section at a later date - unless someone explains it first.)

Stamps

One for the ages. I stopped collecting stamps when I was maybe 15. But I was keen for the years that I did it. I collected them like my dad did - a few good ones in an album and the rest - a huge heap of philatelic miscellanea - in a big box. I still have my box and my album, and I still have dad's box and album. I haven't seen them for a few decades but they are sitting quietly in the back of a cupboard at mum's place doing what stamps do best - becoming rarer.

Recipes
If someone had told me 20 years ago that I would become a recipe collector, I would have thrown an overcooked carrot at them. My favourite recipes are a few, but slowly growing, number of weepingly sublime, haute-end French and Italian dishes which I have, in the manner of winning a major lottery, successfully made. I still find it hard to believe that I can actually create that stuff, as do my wide-eyed family and friends. My sentimental favourite recipes are a collection of soups which my mum made when we were kids.

Fridge magnets
Wotcha mean, tacky? Have you seen the quality of some of those things these days? My favourite is a koala bear with magnets in all four paws. Oh, alright, tacky.

Empty beer bottles
These are surprisingly easy to collect. I find that, despite throwing a lot of them out with the recyclables every two weeks, I have an impressive collection again in no time.

So here's a toast to collecting stuff!



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