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Man rescued from his own stupidity

March 9th 2011 02:38
: Vyoos news
Timothy James Chapek
Timothy James Chapek, who declined to smile for his mug shot


STORIES OF THE NEARLY NORMAL
A man who broke into a home in Portland, Oregon, decided that he would have a shower while he was there.


It is not known whether having a shower was his intention in breaking into the house, or whether he had more conventional motives, such as robbery, which he deferred while he got cleaned up.

Whatever, there the intruder was, having a shower in someone else's home, when he was startled by a suspicious noise.

The man realised several things at once, although the sum total of their value barely registers on the IQ scale.

The first was that the noise might be the home owners returning, inconveniently, home.

The second was that, this being America, the homeowners might have a gun.

The third was, if they had a gun, he was in big trouble.

The fourth was, this might be a good time to panic.

So he did what any naked, wet, scared trespasser would do: he rang emergency.

It is also unknown whether he asked for police, ambulance, fire or the US Air Force. But someone came promptly, and arrested Mr Timothy James Chapek, 24, for being Nearly Normal.
story and image: www.kval.com/news




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Bra 1 Bullet 0

April 23rd 2009 22:00
bra

In another strong argument for the right to carry guns, a burglar in Detroit has shot a woman watching him from a neighbouring window. Why not? After all, she might have rung the police. Just goes to show how good guns are for preventative action.

After the shooting, the teenage suspect and two teenage accomplices drove away.

In case they are reading this, and in case they give a damn about the woman they shot, we can report that they are not facing a charge of murder. But this may only be because the bullet hit the wire frame of her bra and deflected.

Sergeant Eren Stephens Bell, of Detroit Police, told The Detroit News, "We need to get some bulletproof vests made from that. It is some strong wire."

The 57-year-old woman, a resident of the west side of Detroit, was taken to hospital for treatment, but was released the same day.
detnews.com, news.bbc.co.uk; image: oopshi.com



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