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Committees - Vyoos

What's wrong with teenage boys in Japan?

January 17th 2011 03:17

: Vyoos news

He's a male teenager - of COURSE he's thinking about sex.

VYOOS EDITORIAL: A COMMITTEE STRIKES AGAIN
A government study has found that one-third of Japanese males aged 16 to 19 are not interested in sex, almost exactly double the number not interested in sex in 2008.

Please note that word "government" in the above paragraph.

We have three questions for the Japanese government officials in charge of this survey:

Are you sure you polled males?

Are you sure they were aged 16 to 19?

Are you sure the subject in question was sex?

Were you ever a teenage boy?

Okay, that's four questions. However, the answer to the fourth question in my own case is yes, and I went to an all boys' school, and I can report with a high degree of conviction that the percentage of all boys I knew in the 16 to 19 age group who were not interested in sex was approximately zero.

Probably less.

Either Japan is a very different place than I thought, or Japanese government committees are very similar to their western counterparts.
metro.co.uk

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Asia, Japan, Committees, Odd Spot, Sex, Vyoos Editorial

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China's committee work-around

December 22nd 2010 02:05

: Vyoos news

'I have a question: what are we talking about?'

Chinese authorities have announced a ban on the use of foreign words in the media and state press. The ban, they say, addresses a need to end an erosion of the purity of Chinese language.

The ban, I say, proves that Chinese committees produce the same brain-dead nonsense as their counterparts in the rest of the world.

In practice, the Chinese decision will work. Neither privatised nor state-owned media will have any concerns about following the edict, because they won't have to change anything to comply. English words do not make it into written Chinese, in the way they make it into written Italian or Norwegian, for example, because Chinese publishing systems are not set up to handle alphabet-based characters. Further, although many mainland Chinese these days might understand some English words popularised through the internet (mainstream English words such as thanx, LOL and porn), few would recognise their written form.

The Chinese decision works in principle, as well, in the same way that xenophobic, politically self-serving propaganda works. The authorities pronounce it; the workers ignore it.

For this reason we can see that, while committee meetings in China are just as full of hot air and devoid of common sense as committee meetings anywhere else, the trappings of totalitarianism remain sufficiently evident that foolish edicts can be treated as such. This makes Chinese committee decisions much less dangerous than elsewhere, a fact which has enormous benefits for the economy, for due process and for individual freedom.

This capacity to take the decisions of committees out of real-time processes lifts the efficiency rating across all Chinese sectors well above anything seen in more backward and underprivileged countries, such as the United States, where people still live in hope of committees producing something useful.
bbc.co.uk

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Asia, China, Committees, Language

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The alien which ate a committee's brains

December 8th 2010 01:43

: Vyoos news

Warning: Committee meetings can be dangerous to your health

STORIES OF THE NEARLY NORMAL
Further evidence has emerged that committee meetings on Planet Earth have been infected by an alien virus which feeds on dim-wittedness.

The latest outbreak of bizarre committee behaviour comes from the Czech Republic, where transport authority officers met recently to discuss road traffic problems.

The group heard that the problems were due to a shortage of traffic lights. Someone suggested more traffic lights be installed. Someone said traffic lights were expensive. Someone said perhaps traffic light alternatives could be explored.

Experts examining the transcript of the committee meeting pinpoint this moment as the crucial one. No human, they say, no matter how intellectually enfeebled, could have been responsible for what happened next unless under the influence of an alien viral invasion.

Someone suggested, instead of traffic lights, they install at intersections cardboard cut-outs of female police officers wearing mini-skirts.

Things got rapidly worse from there as the virus took over the meeting. Someone called for a vote on the proposal. And the committee voted in favour.

What happened next suggests the dim decision-creating virus, having had a feeding frenzy, went quiet, because things returned to sensible predictability.

The mini-skirted cardboard policewoman cut-outs did not solve the problem. Police said so many motorists were distracted by them that traffic accidents actually doubled.

What a surprise.

The virus, unfortunately, will need to feed again soon. Beware, it could infect a committee meeting near you.
news.com.au

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Bureaucracy, Committees, Europe, Czech Republic, Leadership, Stories of the Nearly Normal

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