Call me, collect
October 22nd 2008 04:13
Can you match this?
We all collect stuff, right? You don't really have to answer that - I just thought I'd entertain myself, if no-one else, with a list of things I collect - in several senses of the word.
Books
Match boxes
They are kept in a tall glass jar and they tell the story of my peripatetic life better than any post card collection could. And they are easier to pack and move than books.
Stationery
My father had a stationery fetish. He loved pens. He had an assortment of bulldog clips arranged by size. He got excited when paper clips became available in different colours and coatings. Most of all, however, he loved paper. Fresh, clean paper was a beautiful thing to him. Did I hear you mumble something about weird? Listen up. I am exactly the same, and there are strong indications that my eight-year-old daughter is going to make it a third generation afflicted by the stationery fetish.
Lists
Another fetish. A few years ago I was discussing a minor problem of some sort with my bother. "I don't know what to do," I said. "Make a list," he said. "You will anyway. You always make a list." I was stunned. It's not that he was wrong - it's that I didn't realise that my secret wasn't a secret.
Mobile phones
This one isn't intentional. At my age, it seems like the mobile phone was invented just yesterday. But if that's so, how is it that I seem to have old ones in every drawer? When can I start selling them to museums?
image: houseofstaunton.com
Chess sets
Believe me, this can become so expensive that you dare not tell those nearest and dearest to you, such as your accountant, that you are planning to acquire another 19th-century Staunton in ebony and rosewood.
Odd socks
I know, everyone collects these. But it gives me a chance to ask one of my favourite brain teaser questions: If you had 10 loose blue socks and 10 loose red socks mixed up in a drawer in a completely dark room, how many socks would you need to take from the drawer to guarantee you had a pair? (Answer in the comments section at a later date - unless someone explains it first.)
Stamps
One for the ages. I stopped collecting stamps when I was maybe 15. But I was keen for the years that I did it. I collected them like my dad did - a few good ones in an album and the rest - a huge heap of philatelic miscellanea - in a big box. I still have my box and my album, and I still have dad's box and album. I haven't seen them for a few decades but they are sitting quietly in the back of a cupboard at mum's place doing what stamps do best - becoming rarer.
Recipes
If someone had told me 20 years ago that I would become a recipe collector, I would have thrown an overcooked carrot at them. My favourite recipes are a few, but slowly growing, number of weepingly sublime, haute-end French and Italian dishes which I have, in the manner of winning a major lottery, successfully made. I still find it hard to believe that I can actually create that stuff, as do my wide-eyed family and friends. My sentimental favourite recipes are a collection of soups which my mum made when we were kids.
Fridge magnets
Wotcha mean, tacky? Have you seen the quality of some of those things these days? My favourite is a koala bear with magnets in all four paws. Oh, alright, tacky.
Empty beer bottles
These are surprisingly easy to collect. I find that, despite throwing a lot of them out with the recyclables every two weeks, I have an impressive collection again in no time.
So here's a toast to collecting stuff!
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