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The end of hotel room pornography

January 26th 2011 00:15
: Vyoos news
hotel room

There is no end to the risks of the hotel business. To sell pretty much any other item or service is to create some sort of bond between the customer and what you are offering. But nobody bonds with a hotel room. It's a place where you behave in ways you can't at home.


And now, on top of all their other cares, it appears hotels are losing revenue from declining pornography sales.

There are few facets of business that don't get scrutinised these days, and so we can report that, according to analysis by Colliers PKF Hospitality Research, the average American hotel room generated US$288 a year in 2000 from patrons turning on, so to speak, to the pornography channel.

The figure is now down to $175 and falling so fast that hotel mega-chain Marriott has announced that it is removing pornography from its in-room TV entertainment options.

The reason for the downturn, Colliers analyst Robert Mandelbaum said, is the iPad. What's happening is this: hotel guests are bringing their entertainment in with them.

We have seen no comment yet from Apple. The company's reaction to causing the collapse of such a fundamental part of the travelling business culture would be interesting. Meanwhile, this isn't going to harm iPad sales.
USA Today

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The end of death by call hold

October 28th 2010 06:32
: Vyoos news
call hold

We have been perplexed at times to see surveys of consumer dislikes which do not rank phone calls being placed on hold as number one. We found this so surprising that we recently undertook our own research, and Vyoos can now reveal a carefully concealed corporate secret - a big business conspiracy, in which high-level politicians may be implicated - regarding this issue.


Caller on hold, for those who have never used a telephone, is the process whereby companies treat customers and potential customers like idiots by assuming that they don't mind waiting for interminable periods listening to mindless promotional material, this after possibly hours pressing numbers just to get to the promotional material closest to their enquiry topic.

Call hold would be on top of every consumer pet hate list except for the terrible secret our research has revealed: many people die while waiting on the phone.

Most beat themselves to death with the handpiece.

"It is the great hidden shame of our so-called first-world society," said a psychiatrist, "that so little is understood about the human mind's ability to cope with the unique duress associated with call hold.

"People - and companies - need to understand that call hold minutes aren't like other minutes. You know how the Richter Scale works - how a magnitude 7 earthquake is 10 times as strong as a magnitude 6 earthquake? Well call hold is sort of like that - each minute imparts stress equal to all the previous minutes combined.

"I know, believe me. I went through this call hold last year and I've only just been released from intensive care. I'm better now, I think, except I wake at night sometimes and hear demonic voices singing 'Your call is important' in three-part harmony."

We have no doubt that Vodafone Australia had all the above in mind when it announced today that it is scrapping call hold. That's right, in a announcement which should have been televised live around the galaxy (what were their marketing people thinking?) Vodafone said all callers from the middle of next month would have the option of selecting a "return call", meaning a Vodafone representative would call them back as soon as possible.

"As soon as possible" may mean shortly before the next ice age but we don't care. This is the biggest news in telecommunications since Alexander Graham Bell sent the first telephonic message - to an assistant in an adjoining room - and had to wait for a response.

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: Paris Motor Show
lamborghini sesto elemento
The Lamborghini Sesto Elemento goes from 0 to 100km/h in 2.5 seconds and doesn't need scantily clad women to look sexy.

One has to applaud companies which have the strength of long-held convictions and insist on adherence to traditions of excellence. Well, most of the time.

The Paris Motor Show, one of the most glamorous and prestigious of automotive events, is on this week. All the great marques are there, as is the gloss, gleam and marketing pizazz one expects of such an event.

Just look at the Lamborghini stand. Their cars are always stunning, as are their girls. Motor shows have long been as well known for scantily clad women as cars. The Lamborghini marketing people this year dressed their models in skintight, strapless, silver dresses slit to the thigh.

That's dedicated adherence to tradition for you.

But wait. Look at a few more stands and you notice something remarkable. Where are the girls? Where's the tradition?

The fact is that Lamborghini was pretty much alone with the sexy marketing in Paris this year. It might be traditional, but it's outdated.

"The days of bikini-clad women on bonnets are gone," said automotive PR agency PFPR Communications.

The reason is prosaic: the car makers don't wish to alienate an estimated 30 per cent - and growing quickly - of the market. Women.

The Renault stand in Paris summed it up. They had women attendants, but as one report said, they were dressed "more like a woman behind the wheel than across the bonnet".

Many stands featured male hosts.

Of course, if the proportion of new cars being bought by women continues to grow and one day women dominate the market the way men have in the past, we can expect more men on the Paris Motor Show stands, wearing less.
Thomson Reuters


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Porn profits feeling the pincher

September 28th 2010 04:12
: Porn thorn
online sex porn pornography

Internet pirates are threatening the survival of yet another major industry, which is fighting back through innovative technology and collaborative strategic effort.

[ Click here to read more ]
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