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tony abbott

The Australian Broadcasting Commission today aired a "report" that Australian Opposition leader Tony Abbott had been overheard in a party room conversation questioning the decision of the Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, to accept an invitation to the forthcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.


The acceptance, Abbott reportedly opined, was surprising from someone who is an unmarried Republican.

Let us note firstly that it is not certain that Tony Abbott said this.

Let us note secondly that it doesn't matter whether Abbott said it or not. The fact is that his track record makes it likely he did say it, not because he believes it, but because it makes political mileage. The fact is that if you want a politician ruthless enough to arrange a leak to the press of something he "might" have said in the party room, then Tony's your man.

Let us say thirdly that Julia Gillard is the Prime Minister of Australia and will be attending the wedding in that capacity. It would have been unthinkable for her not to be invited. It would have been equally unthinkable for her not to have accepted.

Abbott won't be going. Gillard will be going. She won't be sending Abbott a post card.

And let us say finally that there is often a fine line between ruthlessness and recklessness.
Image: Nicholson







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Another Latham grotesquerie

February 4th 2011 05:53
: Vyoos news
mark latham

VYOOS EDITORIAL
Former Australian Labor Party leader and Prime Minister wannabe Mark Latham says incumbent Prime Minister Julia Gillard is incapable of empathy because she has no children.

Writing in a magazine column, Latham said Gillard comes across as wooden talking to the public because she chose a life without kids.

This is not an honest opinion. It is the sort of tabloid headline-grabbing, sensationalist sewage which people like Latham rely on to make a buck.

Having famously failed at a real job, they get a peroxided agent and a botoxed publicist and proceed to play the tabloid celebrity game. What you do is bad-mouth people and take extravagantly opinionated stands on any issue which suits your purpose, and watch the offers come in to appear on mindless TV reality, talkback and tabloid affairs shows.

Having your thoughts ghost-written for the redneck press and your (paid-for) picture appear in the front cover of supermarket shock sheets are the next step up the slimy slope.

It's a living. If you're outrageous enough, you can create your own cult. Think Sarah Palin.

Common sense and carefully considered opinion have no place in this game. Snipe, gripe and shoot from the lip. Hit hard, and as far below the belt as you can reach, before running to the next make-up call, via the bank.

It's like the bad loser on a football field, the guy whose side's getting beaten so he gets defensively angry. Nothing is his fault.

Gillard is a winner in the political game at which Latham proved a blundering no-hoper. Look at the scoreboard, Mark.
news.com.au




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A planet of barbarians

September 18th 2010 08:46
afghan war

During a recent conversation, a friend argued that if there were lots of other sentient beings in the universe, as is commonly supposed, surely they would have visited us. We can dismiss UFO sightings, which are common but useless in that they all stop short of being verifiable. So where are they? Why haven't all these supposedly advanced civilisations answered the radio signals we have been sending into space for years?

It's a fair question. The human mind has a bit of trouble grasping the concept of infinity, but the universe is supposed to be infinite, giving rise to the argument that, with all the possible combinations of environmental factors and all the planets zipping around all the suns out there, there is an infinite number of life forms.

Oh yeah? So why haven't the more developed ones dropped by for a cup of tea and a bit of intergalactic gossip?

The answer, another friend suggested, is that we aren't developed enough. Some of us like to see ourselves as a civilised, sophisticated and technologically advanced race, but in the eyes of a truly advanced and civilised species, we are primitives. Little better than apes, and that might be optimistic. Intergalactic insect status, probably.

Hell, we still fight wars!

Say no more. Passing space ships would take a quick look at Afghanistan and some of the seedier thought waves coming out of our houses of parliament, and make a mental note to come back in 10,000 years.

If you're still not convinced, here's some recent news items from Australia which would reinforce Earth folks' ranking as slightly evolved cockroaches.

Three students on a school camp took an iron bar and used it to beat a kangaroo to death.

A group of university students established a Facebook page to promote their beliefs, which they described as "pro-rape, anti-consent''.

Federal Opposition Leader Tony Abbott said, "What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing ... ''.

Who cares what Abbott thinks the housewives of Australia need to understand? I'll tell you who doesn't care: intelligent beings from elsewhere. They've sent home a starwarp-memo:

Re Planet Earth, Spiral 7, Milky Way: Barbarians. Don't come back while A. Abbott is still around.


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same sex marriage gay equality
VYOOS EDITORIAL
Julia Gillard’s honeymoon period is over. For me at least.

[ Click here to read more ]
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julia gillard

The news blasting around the world from Australia is that we have a female Prime Minister. At last. New Zealand got one 13 years ago, Britain 31 years ago, Sri Lanka 50 years ago and Egypt 3483 years ago. About the only places in the world yet to elect a female head of state are the United States and the Vatican.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Family's Fielding fluffs his fiscal

September 9th 2009 02:51
mary whitehouse
Mary Whitehouse: at least she could spell

Australian Senator Steve Fielding is apparently taking, as his yardstick for political performance, the career of former American vice-president Dan Quayle. Fielding is paying particular attention to Quayle's inability to spell.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Pauline Hanson is back

March 2nd 2009 19:53
pauline hanson
Pauline Hanson

When I heard, three minutes ago, that Pauline Hanson and Warwick Capper are likely to contest the seat of Beaudesert in the Queensland state election on March 21, I thought, "Best take two aspirin and go back to bed."

[ Click here to read more ]
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The Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, is closeted with spin doctors this morning planning responses to media questions he will inevitably face later today about his failure to implement an internet censorship scheme.

The scheme, which has been touted for several months as a way of saving Australians from gambling, pornography and other internet evils, has effectively been scuttled by parliamentary numbers following removal of support yesterday by independent Senator Nick Xenophon


[ Click here to read more ]
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Holding out on tourism

December 11th 2008 12:01
melbourne australia

The Australian state of Victoria is outperforming the rest of the country in tourism growth.

[ Click here to read more ]
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