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A planet of barbarians

September 18th 2010 08:46
afghan war

During a recent conversation, a friend argued that if there were lots of other sentient beings in the universe, as is commonly supposed, surely they would have visited us. We can dismiss UFO sightings, which are common but useless in that they all stop short of being verifiable. So where are they? Why haven't all these supposedly advanced civilisations answered the radio signals we have been sending into space for years?


It's a fair question. The human mind has a bit of trouble grasping the concept of infinity, but the universe is supposed to be infinite, giving rise to the argument that, with all the possible combinations of environmental factors and all the planets zipping around all the suns out there, there is an infinite number of life forms.

Oh yeah? So why haven't the more developed ones dropped by for a cup of tea and a bit of intergalactic gossip?

The answer, another friend suggested, is that we aren't developed enough. Some of us like to see ourselves as a civilised, sophisticated and technologically advanced race, but in the eyes of a truly advanced and civilised species, we are primitives. Little better than apes, and that might be optimistic. Intergalactic insect status, probably.

Hell, we still fight wars!

Say no more. Passing space ships would take a quick look at Afghanistan and some of the seedier thought waves coming out of our houses of parliament, and make a mental note to come back in 10,000 years.


If you're still not convinced, here's some recent news items from Australia which would reinforce Earth folks' ranking as slightly evolved cockroaches.

Three students on a school camp took an iron bar and used it to beat a kangaroo to death.

A group of university students established a Facebook page to promote their beliefs, which they described as "pro-rape, anti-consent''.

Federal Opposition Leader Tony Abbott said, "What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing ... ''.

Who cares what Abbott thinks the housewives of Australia need to understand? I'll tell you who doesn't care: intelligent beings from elsewhere. They've sent home a starwarp-memo:

Re Planet Earth, Spiral 7, Milky Way: Barbarians. Don't come back while A. Abbott is still around.


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Come home safely, Jessica

April 15th 2010 08:10
jessica watson

The Great Southern Ocean can be a terrible place, and there is in it at this moment a small, pink boat which has been battered for three days by wind gusts of over 50 knots, six-metre swells and a cold, stinging rain.

On the boat is a 16-year-old girl. Her thoughts right now are on making the right decisions to survive, on repairing a mainsail ripped by the winds, and on when she might be able to catch up on some sleep, but there must be a growing number of moments when she allows herself to think about an extraordinary truth: I am nearly home.

Jessica Watson is within about three weeks of achieving what she set out to do: become the youngest person ever to sail alone and unassisted around the world. And as she sails closer to the finish line in Sydney Harbour, she will galvanize a nation.

When Kay Cottee became the first woman to sail solo around the world in 1988, we listened via the then technological marvel of a live radio cross as she and her 11-metre sloop made their way across the Great Southern Ocean. She became an Australian hero, and Watson will do the same.

Perhaps even more so, because Watson is less than half Cottee's age, because her boat is even smaller at 10.2 metres, and because it is pink. She has had to overcome other disadvantages: the handle of Cottee's kettle did not fall off like Watson's did, and while Cottee famously celebrated passing the Cape of Good Hope with a bottle of Australia's iconic Grange Hermitage, Watson is too young for such partying.

On the other hand, Cottee didn't have her parents and siblings fly over in a light plane to celebrate being back in Australian waters. That happened for Watson on April 11, and it was surely a moment of celebratory emotion to know that the nearest land, if she could see it, due north, was Western Australia's Cape Leeuwin.

Jessica Watson and her wonderful pink boat were back under the shadow of the land she calls home. Welcome home, Jess.
images: heraldsun.com.au, yachtpal.com

LINKS
The official news page
Jessica Watson's blog

jessica watson boat

jessica watson boat 2

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A sore bum and a big heart

July 24th 2009 00:42
jenie butler

Jenie Butler, a young clinical nurse specialist, expects a sore bum. That's what happens, she figures, if you decide to ride a bicycle across Australia's endless Nullarbor Plain.

The Nullarbor is not a place for weak hearts or sensitive bottoms. Features include the world's longest stretch of railway without a bend (478 kilometres), the world's second-longest stretch of road without a bend (146 kilometres) and the world's longest, wettest, weirdest underground tunnel (Cocklebiddy Cave, 6.5 kilometres long so far — they haven't found the end yet).

Jenie, who lives in Melbourne and works at the Western Hospital in Footscray, decided to ride a bike across this vast desert for two reasons: one, she wanted to get fit; two, she wanted to raise money for the Western Hospital's intensive care unit.

She will ride from Perth to Adelaide, covering just under 3,000 kilometres in a planned 22 days, covering an average of more than 130 kilometres a day. The ride starts in two days, on July 26.

"My bum is going to be sore," she said, "but it's nothing compared to someone who is in bed 24/7."

Jenie Butler has a heart the size of the Nullarbor. If you want to help make her effort worthwhile, visit Jenie's web site.

image: themail.com.au


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