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Cyclists, you have been Warned

January 18th 2012 01:14
:
shane warne
Australian media services are in a frenzy today with follow-ups to the story about Shane Warne having a roadside altercation with a cyclist.

Warne, who has dual A-list celebrity status for services to cricket and services to men's hair, was driving home on Tuesday when he was forced to look annoyed at the antics of a cyclist. Some reports suggest Warne may even have gesticulated.


There is no argument that the cyclist was a hoon. He apparently approached Warne's car from behind, grabbed hold and helped himself to a free ride for some distance. When Warne reacted, the cyclist rode past the vehicle and braked in front of it, holding up traffic.

This, of course, created a potentially dangerous situation. Authorities really must look into keeping the public at greater distance from A-list celebrities.

The situation also raised important questions about the inability of modern journalists to recognise a Ferrari. "I do not own a Ferrari," said Warne, in response to the initial story which claimed that's what he was driving. "I own a Mercedes and a Chrysler," he elaborated.

Further disturbing developments emerged today after Warne created a series of Tweets, not one of which contained a reference to sex. Instead, Warne went on a Tweet rampage against the unfettered freedom of the public in terms of access to roads while mounted on bicycles.

This is a sensitive issue which has been simmering, at sub-celebrity level, for some time. Now that an A-lister has taken a stance, however, the Twittersphere is abuzz.


One media report today said Warne's view had received support from "B-listers" Lara Bingle and Holly Valance, as well as from celebrity journalist Tracey Grimshaw. This raises further serious questions, such as whether B-listers should be mentioned in the same story as an A-lister and, crucially, whether it implies that Tracey Grimshaw is a C-lister.




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Australian thin king

January 6th 2012 05:48
:  
bikini atomic power plant
A picture of a woman in a bikini in front of a Russian atomic power plant. This picture is only vaguely related to the story below.
Many years ago I heard a marvellous story involving political intrigue, back-room diplomacy and technological marvel.

It was a story from the 1980s and involved an American scientific breakthrough, the development of a filament so thin that it could only be seen under a microscopic. It was way thinner than the cables commonly used at that time to carry stuff like electricity. It was the thinnest filament ever produced by man.

Well, American man.

In those pre-Google (and pre-Wikileaks) days, information was a scarcer commodity and international borders were thicker. Perhaps the two things were related.

Thicker borders meant fewer firm friends and less knowledge of what everyone else was doing. What the Americans needed was a second opinion, a trusted, knowledgable friend who could confirm that they really had invented the world's thinnest filament.

So they contacted their best friend, the British, and said, "Have a look at this, would you, and tell us what you think."

The Brits took the filament and showed it, hush-hush-like, to a few of their best scientists, and all agreed that they had never seen anything so thin.

The world's a big place, however, especially without Google, and the Brits had an idea. The Japanese were getting quite a reputation, in the early 1980s, for technological innovation, and the Brits and the Japs were getting along quite well at the time. So what about asking for a third opinion? The Japanese need not know the filament came from America, and the Americans need not know the Japanese had been consulted.

Is this the thinnest filament ever invented, the Brits asked the Japanese. Could, indeed, anything thinner ever be created?

The Japanese had a look, and sent the filament back to the Brits with a hole drilled through the middle.

The story was probably an urban myth, one of those yarns which don't let the truth get in the way of entertainment, but it came vividly to mind this week with the news of a breakthrough by scientists at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia. They have invented a filament four atoms wide and one atom thick.

This is no urban myth. If you don't believe me, Google it.

You'll all want to know the details, so here they are in plain words: they did it by adding phosphorous to silicon crystal, thereby breaking through the resistivity issues they'd been having below the 10 nanometre level.

The Aussie scientists are pretty pleased, but we suggest they don't send an example to the Japanese. They'd probably send it back with a hole drilled through an atom.

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: Vyoos news
tony abbott

The Australian Broadcasting Commission today aired a "report" that Australian Opposition leader Tony Abbott had been overheard in a party room conversation questioning the decision of the Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, to accept an invitation to the forthcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

The acceptance, Abbott reportedly opined, was surprising from someone who is an unmarried Republican.

Let us note firstly that it is not certain that Tony Abbott said this.

Let us note secondly that it doesn't matter whether Abbott said it or not. The fact is that his track record makes it likely he did say it, not because he believes it, but because it makes political mileage. The fact is that if you want a politician ruthless enough to arrange a leak to the press of something he "might" have said in the party room, then Tony's your man.

Let us say thirdly that Julia Gillard is the Prime Minister of Australia and will be attending the wedding in that capacity. It would have been unthinkable for her not to be invited. It would have been equally unthinkable for her not to have accepted.

Abbott won't be going. Gillard will be going. She won't be sending Abbott a post card.

And let us say finally that there is often a fine line between ruthlessness and recklessness.
Image: Nicholson






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The questionable Australian accent

March 4th 2011 02:49
: Vyoos news
let stalk strine

VYOOS EDITORIAL
In the news this week was a story which rated the Australian accent the world's fifth sexist. It's a safe bet there were no Aussies on the voting panel. I know no fellow Australians with particular affection for our accent. We call it Strine, which sums up the nasal twang which characterises our speech


[ Click here to read more ]
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Another Latham grotesquerie

February 4th 2011 05:53
: Vyoos news
mark latham

VYOOS EDITORIAL
Former Australian Labor Party leader and Prime Minister wannabe Mark Latham says incumbent Prime Minister Julia Gillard is incapable of empathy because she has no children


[ Click here to read more ]
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Yasi, the mother of all storms

February 2nd 2011 02:48
: Vyoos news
cyclone yasi
Cyclones Yasi, left, and Tracey.

The "mother of all storms" is heading towards north-eastern Australia. It is, according to the Queensland Bureau of meteorology, "likely to be more life threatening than any experienced during recent generations".

[ Click here to read more ]
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Pandemic hysteria about paedophilia

September 24th 2010 18:22
: How far
parents watching kids sport

Two news reports this week make one wonder how far the global tidal wave of protectionism towards children will go.

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75
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A planet of barbarians

September 18th 2010 08:46
afghan war

During a recent conversation, a friend argued that if there were lots of other sentient beings in the universe, as is commonly supposed, surely they would have visited us. We can dismiss UFO sightings, which are common but useless in that they all stop short of being verifiable. So where are they? Why haven't all these supposedly advanced civilisations answered the radio signals we have been sending into space for years?

[ Click here to read more ]
107
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gay pride

VYOOS EDITORIAL
Garry Martin, principal of Lepage Primary School in Melbourne, Australia, said he didn't mean to insult gays when he told his students to change the words of an iconic song


[ Click here to read more ]
95
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Croc justice

July 18th 2010 08:47
saltwater crocodile
The dry language police use to describe their business to the world is unique. It's all about persons and unknowns and enquiries into situations. We could call it procedural polemics. Plenty of arrests, but hardly arresting.

This week, however, came a news story which lent itself perfectly to police-speak


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same sex marriage gay equality
VYOOS EDITORIAL
Julia Gillard’s honeymoon period is over. For me at least.

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245
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julia gillard

The news blasting around the world from Australia is that we have a female Prime Minister. At last. New Zealand got one 13 years ago, Britain 31 years ago, Sri Lanka 50 years ago and Egypt 3483 years ago. About the only places in the world yet to elect a female head of state are the United States and the Vatican.

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Come home safely, Jessica

April 15th 2010 08:10
jessica watson

The Great Southern Ocean can be a terrible place, and there is in it at this moment a small, pink boat which has been battered for three days by wind gusts of over 50 knots, six-metre swells and a cold, stinging rain.

[ Click here to read more ]
184
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message in a bottle

Sitting snugly in a traditional bottle, a message of friendship has travelled about 11,000 kilometres, from Henan in China to a beach off Victoria, Australia.

[ Click here to read more ]
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