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Today's news: bowser bonk

February 9th 2010 07:13
The trial continues of an Australian man who was having sexual intercourse with a woman in a vehicle at a petrol station and who refused to stop having sexual intercourse despite police arriving and requesting him to do so.

The court was told that police indicated from outside the locked vehicle that they wanted the couple to cease having sex. Exactly how the police indicated their requirements was not made clear in media reports of the court case.

The police arrived at the petrol station, the court in Darwin was told today, because the petrol station attendant could see the pair "kissing passionately", and because he could hear loud moaning, and because the woman was "moving in ways that gave the impression the pair was having sexual intercourse''.


It is known that the accused, named as Lionel Mark William Spratt, was asleep for at least some of these events. Spratt's Legal Aid lawyer, Matthew Hubber, told the court that the vehicle, owned by Spratt, was being driven by the woman because Spratt had "been on drugs all day at Litchfield National Park" and was asleep. When the woman had pulled into the petrol station, the lawyer said, she had exited the driver's side, climbed into the passenger's side, and climbed onto the lap of Spratt.

The act of sex had then commenced.

The prosecutor in the case, Scott Tierney, told the court that the police, when they arrived, asked the couple to stop having sex. The couple, however, had not complied, and police had been unable to arrest Spratt, due to the vehicle being locked, until the sex had ended, 27 minutes later.

The case has been adjourned until tomorrow when the Chief Magistrate, Jenny Blokland, will pass sentence.

Northern Territory News


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Family's Fielding fluffs his fiscal

September 9th 2009 02:51
mary whitehouse
Mary Whitehouse: at least she could spell

Australian Senator Steve Fielding is apparently taking, as his yardstick for political performance, the career of former American vice-president Dan Quayle. Fielding is paying particular attention to Quayle's inability to spell.

The Australian is a member of the Family First Party, which is, in its own words, "the only party that has as its top priority the well being (sic) of Australian families and the success of small businesses". According to their web page, they also believe, "Australia should be the best country in the world".

So, to hell with everyone else and do you think the portrait of Mary Whitehouse would look better over the mantlepiece?

The noun well-being should, of course, be hyphenated or one word, not two, and this brings us back to Senator Fielding and his language flaws. He has had an ongoing problem, when offering opinions on economic matters, in confusing the words fiscal and physical. "Physical policy" has become something of a catchphrase for the good Senator, and good journalists are giving him every opportunity to repeat the malapropism.

This week, however, he went a step further along the Quayle trail. Dan famously couldn't spell potato. Fielding decided to mangle the word fiscal even more than he has by proving that, not only does he not know how to use it, he doesn't know how to spell it.

Speaking to journalists on Monday, he was asked about his regular mispronunciation of fiscal. "I'll make it quite clear," Senator Fielding replied, "fiscal: F-I-S-K-A-L."



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wedding dress kovacs
Hannah Kovacs in her $18 wedding dress

In 1991, just before moving overseas to live, I decided to consolidate all my addresses and phone numbers in a new contact book. This item, basically a few blank sheets of paper stuck together with glue, cost me just under A$10. A similar item in an Australian newsagent today will cost a fraction of the price.

How is it that, over the past 20 years, so many things have become so much cheaper?

The reason is that far more consumer products are now imported from China, India, Indonesia and other countries where wages are much lower than Australian wages. The prices we pay for the items produced reflect the lower production costs.

Many argue that this is to the detriment of Australian business and Australian jobs. Others argue that that this is to the benefit of the consumer. Economists and regulators argue that this is about free and fair markets, and reasonable business practice.

Hannah Kovacs is a consumer who stands fairly in the free trade corner. An online poll conducted by Bride to Be magazine in early 2009 estimated the average bride spends A$2,200 on her wedding dress. Kovacs paid A$18.

She's a psychology student at the University of Queensland. The wedding dress industry, like the stationery industry used to be, is notorious for abusing the lack of a competitive market by ripping off consumers. Kovacs was quoted $4,000 for a dress in a Sydney shop. Asked if the dress was made in Australia, the store was at least honest: no, they said, it was made in China.

Kovacs, still paying for tertiary studies, could not afford $4,000 but she got an idea. She went online and researched Chinese garment makers — at the Chinese end. What she found is professionalism, service, quality — and an $18 price tag for the dress of her choice. Postage and insurance brought the total price to $185.

She found the same gown available in an Australia shop. It sells for $1,500.

So do you buy Australian, and get ripped off, or do you buy at fair market value?
news.com.au


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banker protest

I watched the television news last night and learned that National Australia Bank is to scrap overdue account fees. The decision will cost the bank an estimated A$100 million a year in revenue, but it had decided getting rid of the charge was "a good business decision that will retain customers and attract new ones".

[ Click here to read more ]
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A sore bum and a big heart

July 24th 2009 00:42
jenie butler

Jenie Butler, a young clinical nurse specialist, expects a sore bum. That's what happens, she figures, if you decide to ride a bicycle across Australia's endless Nullarbor Plain.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Labours of love

July 13th 2009 04:58
butcher
An Australian polling group has put political issues aside for the moment and conducted a survey on something truly useful: which profession has the most sex.

The poll, conducted by Galaxy Research, was generally aimed at discovering who has most job satisfaction, with the sex regularity question considered a major component


[ Click here to read more ]
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kyle sandilands

He's brash, he's a judge on Australian Idol and he got his first job in radio after lying on his résumé about working with Triple M. In September 2006, he was named by Zoo Weekly as Australia's most hated identity. He's Kyle Sandilands, Australia's answer to Gordon Ramsay.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Grimshaw and the pig

June 12th 2009 00:08
The celebrity spat of the year just got juicier with the news that Tracy Grimshaw has been asked to pose nude for an erotic magazine.

In case you are not up to speed with this story, which has chased swine flu off the front pages of the less credible newspapers around the country, here's a quick review: Gordon Ramsay, a grotesque parody of a celebrity chef, was interviewed by A Current Affair, a grotesque parody of a television current affairs show, hosted by Grimshaw


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Air New Zealand — party airline

June 6th 2009 01:16
air new zealand

Hats off to Air New Zealand for some innovative marketing.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Blog writer wanted

June 3rd 2009 01:10
remington typewriter

Candidates should be female, aged 29-39, and resident of Melbourne, Australia.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Songs of Australia

June 2nd 2009 20:53
advance australia fair

Every time I hear the Australian national anthem, I cringe. I find it neither stirring nor uplifting. I think both the words and the music would have trouble standing out in a crowd of one.

[ Click here to read more ]
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rachael finch miss universe
You can take the girl out of Queensland ...

And now for the latest developments from that font of wisdom and common sense, the Miss Universe community.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Light penalty for vile trickery

April 25th 2009 04:03
snake oil

Caveat emptor — buyer beware — even if you are terminally ill with cancer.

[ Click here to read more ]
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rachael finch
Rachael Finch

It was all glamour and glitter at the Sydney Hilton last night as a host of beautiful young women paraded before the Miss Universe Australia judges, and a host of less beautiful, less young people asked the perennial question — are beauty pageants outdated?

[ Click here to read more ]
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