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Much of the news in northern Japan recently has been concerned with the poor record of local officials in the area of polar bear sexing.

The municipal zoo in Kushiro, Hokkaido prefecture, brought in a polar bear cub three years ago. He was named Tsuyoshi, after popular baseball outfielder Tsuyoshi Shinjo.

Zoo staff then waited patiently until Tsuyoshi reached reproductive age. The big day came about three months ago, and he was introduced to long-time zoo resident, an 11-year-old female named Kurumi.

But no little polar bears eventuated. Tsuyoshi, it was noted, was not even doing the amorous advance thing.

In early November, zookeepers put young Tsuyoshi under anaesthesia to get to the bottom of the matter. What they discovered is that he is a she.

In their defence, zoo officials say it is no simple matter to identify a polar bear's sex. "Their long hair makes it difficult to distinguish," said zookeeper Masako Inoue.

The zoo is now combing the area for another male.

www.reuters.co.uk, www.cnn.com, www.theregister.co.uk

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Animals, Odd Spot

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Shrek's hard luck story

November 26th 2008 22:42

Warning: do no read this post if you are offended by references to parrots or feather hats or sleeping women named Jackie.

Or sex.

Jackie Lucking, a mother of three from Essex, England, had been to a christening. She wore her best feather hat.

Now the story turns murky. When Jackie arrived back home, she went to sleep on her sofa wearing her hat. It is unclear why Jackie did this. Had she imbibed a little too much christening wine? Or did she did she regularly mix hats, sofas and sleep?

Anyway, imagine Jackie snoozing peacefully, a loose feather rising and falling rhythmically in her breath stream. And now imagine the arrival of the second protagonist in our story. His name is Shrek, and he is a parrot, and he is in a state of sexual arousal.

His excitement is due, it has been determined, to the ingestion of nine SlimNSexy diet pills. These pills, carelessly left around by Jackie, are claimed by the manufacturer also to stimulate sexual urges.

The manufacturer will be happy to know that, for parrots at least, their claim is manifestly true. Shrek, flying into the living room, full of SlimNSexy pills and wanting nothing more in this world than a feathered friend to fornicate with, saw Jackie's hat.

Shrek didn't hesitate. With a shriek, Shrek pounced.

With a shriek, Jackie woke, aroused by an aroused parrot bonking the hat on her head.

"He turned into a maniac," she told her local tabloid. "All he wanted was to get his wing over. It’s disgusting."

Someone prone to wearing feather hats and leaving SlimNSexy pills around the house may well judge this as disgusting. In the circumstances, we see it as a perfectly reasonable flight of fancy.

www.news.com; image: www.theartfulhatcompany.co.uk

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Animals, Sex, Odd Spot

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Water bears conquer space

October 24th 2008 17:23

There are creatures indigenous to this planet called tardigrades and they are in the news because it has just been discovered that they can live in space. Outer space. Vacuum territory. The place where, it has previously been believed, the only things that can survive are some of the hardier forms of cosmic dust.

Tardigrades are more commonly known as water bears. They are, on average, about the size which requires a microscope to see. But this is not recommended for the squeamish or weak of heart because tardigrades are seriously scary looking critters. Seen under a microscope, they look like a cross between a louse and an angry armadillo with acne.

Their bodies are short and plump and contain four pairs of limbs. Each limb terminates in four to eight claws or discs. They wander about in a slow bear-like gait over sand grains or pieces of plant material.

Water bears already had minor celebrity status because they have shown they can live in some of Earth's most inhospitable places: at the bottom of the ocean, at the top of mountains, and in temperatures ranging from minus 272C to plus 51C. They are resistant to radiation and, bizarrely, to drying out - they can be brought back to life after years of dryness.

But space was a new frontier even for the hardy tardigrades.

They were taken into space aboard the FOTON-M3, a European Space Agency craft launched in September, by scientists who exposed dried-up water bears to open space conditions - vacuum, ultra-violet radiation from the sun and cosmic radiation. Back home, with a drop of water, most of them revived.

Some survived exposure to solar ultra-violet radiation more than 1,000 times higher than ultra-violet radiation on the Earth's surface. Some, scientists said, were able to reproduce after their space trip.

The scientists reported on the venture in this month's edition of the US journal Current Biology.

"How these animals were capable of reviving their body after receiving a dose of UV radiation ... under space vacuum conditions remains a mystery," the report said. "It is conceivable that the same cellular adaptations that let them survive drying out might also account for their overall hardiness."

There are about 600 species of tardigrades on Earth. They were first described by Johann August Ephraim Goeze in 1773, and he gave them the name "little water bear". The name Tardigrada, which means "slow walker", was coined in 1777.

They have been found in the Himalayas above 6,000 metres, in the ocean below 4,000 metres, from the polar regions to the equator, on beaches, in soil and in marine or freshwater sediment. Mostly, though, they like to hang out on the nearest cosy lichen or moss.

Or in space.

theregister.co.uk, www.ieu.edu, wikipedia.org. Image: www.core-orsten-research.de

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A love story

October 19th 2008 22:42

When Fred was in hospital about two years ago he accidentally slammed into a closed door and spent the next two days in a coma. Cynthia was the duty doctor and she nursed him back to health as best she could. Fred still hasn't fully recovered - probably never will - but he's not complaining too much since the accident helped him find Cynthia, his true love.

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