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Ricky's tricky humour

January 21st 2012 00:02
:  
ricky gervais

I don't understand the whole Golden Globes and Ricky Gervais thing.

In 2010 an English comedian is invited to anchor an American show business awards night, but his jokes are perceived as outrageous insults and the US psychotherapy industry experiences a six-month boom as the slighted celebrities seek solace.


Just as things were returning to normal, with Mel Gibson again able to recite the serenity prayer without a voice quaver, it was announced that the Golden Globe organisers had invited Gervais back to host the 2011 event.

Hollywood shuddered. It registered on the Richter Scale. You could smell the fear. It registered on the sphincter scale.

And Ricky Dene Gervais, born June 25, 1961, himself winner of seven BAFTAs, five British Comedy Awards, two Emmys, three Golden Globes and the 2006 Rose d'Or, delivered.

It was so brutal that America went into shock. They simply had no response to someone who stood before an audience of Hollywood elite and, beaming live into the homes of every good citizen who believed in truth, justice and the celebrity way, crucified them.

Not only did he make fun of Charlie Sheen, Bruce Willis and Robert Downey Jr, he even insulted Hugh Hefner!

They hadn't felt like this since Pearl Harbour.

The response, as you would expect from a nation which gave us Superman and The Incredible Hulk, was swift, strong and to the point. After they had woken the next day and downed some stuff to treat the hangover, and some more stuff to treat the fact that they had woken up at all, Hollywood fought back.


Ricky Gervais, they said, would never shove humble pie, or whatever it was he was peddling, down our throats in our town again. Ever.

It took several months for the outrage to abate, and for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which runs the Golden Globe Awards, to invite Mr Gervais back to host the 2012 awards.

Huh? Am I the only one confused here?

George Bernard Shaw once said, "England and America are two countries separated by a common language." It means that there are some fundamental differences in the way they use English.

Take, for example, the concept of irony. In the UK, there is a fine line between irony and sarcasm, and yet British history is rich with comedians who have danced on that line and royally entertained us as they did so.

In the US, however, the line is a thick one and tends more to divide slapstick and sarcasm, and the line itself is a no-go zone. Subtlety, paradox and (worst of all) irony are not the currency of Hollywood. Motto: In Charlie Chaplin, Abbott and Costello and The Three Stooges We Trust.

What do you expect of the inventors of canned laughter?

Gervais's infra dig humour at the 2010 and 2011 Golden Globe Awards crossed a cultural divide which was already entrenched 100 years ago in Bernard Shaw's day. No wonder they were baying for his blood, and that of the misled morons who run the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

Why on earth would they invite him back a second time, let alone a third?

Ratings.

Showbiz awards ceremonies, including the Oscars, have been falling from grace for some years. Not enough reality perhaps, but whatever the reason, the Golden Globes was experiencing an annual decline of interest along with the rest of them, an industry-wide trend which appeared cyclical and irresistible.

Until Ricky Gervais lobbed in 2010 and made tabloid headlines throughout the known universe. Yes, that's why they invited him back in 2011 for a repeat dose. Ratings.

And that's why they invited him back for the 2012 event last weekend. Except, this time, all his insults had the power of a powder puff. All titter, no terror. Just when he was bringing to Hollywood a sea change, a new understanding, a sweeping vision of comedic nuance as perfected and performed by Brits since the time of Chaucer, Gervais went lame and became a Hollywood local.

I don't know why. I just don't understand the whole Golden Globes and Ricky Gervais thing.
Ricky Gervais picture: Finlay MacKay, Time Magazine. An abbreviated version of this article first appeared in mX newspaper in Australia.

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Cyclists, you have been Warned

January 18th 2012 01:14
:
shane warne
Australian media services are in a frenzy today with follow-ups to the story about Shane Warne having a roadside altercation with a cyclist.

Warne, who has dual A-list celebrity status for services to cricket and services to men's hair, was driving home on Tuesday when he was forced to look annoyed at the antics of a cyclist. Some reports suggest Warne may even have gesticulated.

There is no argument that the cyclist was a hoon. He apparently approached Warne's car from behind, grabbed hold and helped himself to a free ride for some distance. When Warne reacted, the cyclist rode past the vehicle and braked in front of it, holding up traffic.

This, of course, created a potentially dangerous situation. Authorities really must look into keeping the public at greater distance from A-list celebrities.

The situation also raised important questions about the inability of modern journalists to recognise a Ferrari. "I do not own a Ferrari," said Warne, in response to the initial story which claimed that's what he was driving. "I own a Mercedes and a Chrysler," he elaborated.

Further disturbing developments emerged today after Warne created a series of Tweets, not one of which contained a reference to sex. Instead, Warne went on a Tweet rampage against the unfettered freedom of the public in terms of access to roads while mounted on bicycles.

This is a sensitive issue which has been simmering, at sub-celebrity level, for some time. Now that an A-lister has taken a stance, however, the Twittersphere is abuzz.

One media report today said Warne's view had received support from "B-listers" Lara Bingle and Holly Valance, as well as from celebrity journalist Tracey Grimshaw. This raises further serious questions, such as whether B-listers should be mentioned in the same story as an A-lister and, crucially, whether it implies that Tracey Grimshaw is a C-lister.




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Australian thin king

January 6th 2012 05:48
:  
bikini atomic power plant
A picture of a woman in a bikini in front of a Russian atomic power plant. This picture is only vaguely related to the story below.
Many years ago I heard a marvellous story involving political intrigue, back-room diplomacy and technological marvel.

It was a story from the 1980s and involved an American scientific breakthrough, the development of a filament so thin that it could only be seen under a microscopic. It was way thinner than the cables commonly used at that time to carry stuff like electricity. It was the thinnest filament ever produced by man.

Well, American man.

In those pre-Google (and pre-Wikileaks) days, information was a scarcer commodity and international borders were thicker. Perhaps the two things were related.

Thicker borders meant fewer firm friends and less knowledge of what everyone else was doing. What the Americans needed was a second opinion, a trusted, knowledgable friend who could confirm that they really had invented the world's thinnest filament.

So they contacted their best friend, the British, and said, "Have a look at this, would you, and tell us what you think."

The Brits took the filament and showed it, hush-hush-like, to a few of their best scientists, and all agreed that they had never seen anything so thin.

The world's a big place, however, especially without Google, and the Brits had an idea. The Japanese were getting quite a reputation, in the early 1980s, for technological innovation, and the Brits and the Japs were getting along quite well at the time. So what about asking for a third opinion? The Japanese need not know the filament came from America, and the Americans need not know the Japanese had been consulted.

Is this the thinnest filament ever invented, the Brits asked the Japanese. Could, indeed, anything thinner ever be created?

The Japanese had a look, and sent the filament back to the Brits with a hole drilled through the middle.

The story was probably an urban myth, one of those yarns which don't let the truth get in the way of entertainment, but it came vividly to mind this week with the news of a breakthrough by scientists at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia. They have invented a filament four atoms wide and one atom thick.

This is no urban myth. If you don't believe me, Google it.

You'll all want to know the details, so here they are in plain words: they did it by adding phosphorous to silicon crystal, thereby breaking through the resistivity issues they'd been having below the 10 nanometre level.

The Aussie scientists are pretty pleased, but we suggest they don't send an example to the Japanese. They'd probably send it back with a hole drilled through an atom.

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Breaking and decorating

November 15th 2011 02:16
:  
Some burglars are badder than others.

Terry Trent seems to be of the less evil kinds. When he broke into a home in Vandalia, Ohio, recently, he didn't exactly follow the manual of standard burglary procedure


[ Click here to read more ]
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Cold arm of the law

May 3rd 2011 03:49
: Vyoos news
cat teases german shepherds
Roads less travelled

VYOOS EDITORIAL
You'd think Alaskans would be a little more tolerant of the spirit of adventure


[ Click here to read more ]
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Vintage television

April 22nd 2011 00:51
: Vyoos news
1936 television

In 1936, just three weeks after television transmissions began in Britain, a man in London made a decision to spend just under 100 pounds on a TV set.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Even fools can dream

April 15th 2011 03:49
: Vyoos news
confidence trick

Of all the categories of criminal activity, the public is arguably most ambivalent about confidence tricksters.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Is that tea you're wearing?

April 6th 2011 03:35
: Vyoos news
tea perfume
Just hours after our very own Blog of Lists published this list of favourite smells comes news of a British survey of favourite aromas. We are not saying they are copying our ideas, but it smells fishy. We might ask out lawyers to sniff around.

The British apparently voted fresh bread as their favourite smell, followed by mown grass, clean laundry, tea, coffee, BBQ, petrol, chocolate, cakes and new books


[ Click here to read more ]
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: Vyoos news
charlie sheen
Charlie Sheen, recently fired from his day job, has had a disappointing start to his new stage career.

Sheen spent no time moping after he was fired from Two and a Half Men, quickly creating a stage show and announcing an American tour


[ Click here to read more ]
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: Vyoos news
tony abbott

The Australian Broadcasting Commission today aired a "report" that Australian Opposition leader Tony Abbott had been overheard in a party room conversation questioning the decision of the Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, to accept an invitation to the forthcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

[ Click here to read more ]
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