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Whitney Houston deserves the truth

February 12th 2012 03:15
:
whitney houston

There are only two valid reactions to the death of Whitney Houston today: the sadness of someone who appreciated an exceptional musical talent, or the indifference of someone whose interests in life lay elsewhere.

When a star dies however, and a very big star has just died, some appalling rubbish is inevitably written by small-minded opportunists out for some fleeting notoriety. Their weapon of choice, indeed their only weapon, is the cheap shot.


I will not lend credibility to such leeches by repeating any of their self-serving dross, but I will note that it doesn't take the death, tragic or otherwise, of someone great to bring out the knockers.

I just read a eulogy to Whitney Houston which included the following reflection about the early days of her rise to the top of the music industry: "Her decision not to follow the more soulful inflections of singers like (Aretha) Franklin drew criticism by some who saw her as playing down her black roots to go pop and reach white audiences."

That's clever, because there is truth, if twisted, in the sentiment. The same thing could be said this way: "Houston chose not to follow the more soulful inflections of singers like Aretha Franklin, thereby taking her music beyond its black gospel roots to a wider audience."

But, hey, you're less likely to shock someone with balanced, reasoned fairness like that.

Whitney Houston admitted publically to having personal demons. But she was a once-in-a-generation singer with the voice of an angel. She was a true musical great, and don’t let any small minds tell you otherwise.



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Ricky's tricky humour

January 21st 2012 00:02
:  
ricky gervais

I don't understand the whole Golden Globes and Ricky Gervais thing.

In 2010 an English comedian is invited to anchor an American show business awards night, but his jokes are perceived as outrageous insults and the US psychotherapy industry experiences a six-month boom as the slighted celebrities seek solace.

Just as things were returning to normal, with Mel Gibson again able to recite the serenity prayer without a voice quaver, it was announced that the Golden Globe organisers had invited Gervais back to host the 2011 event.

Hollywood shuddered. It registered on the Richter Scale. You could smell the fear. It registered on the sphincter scale.

And Ricky Dene Gervais, born June 25, 1961, himself winner of seven BAFTAs, five British Comedy Awards, two Emmys, three Golden Globes and the 2006 Rose d'Or, delivered.

It was so brutal that America went into shock. They simply had no response to someone who stood before an audience of Hollywood elite and, beaming live into the homes of every good citizen who believed in truth, justice and the celebrity way, crucified them.

Not only did he make fun of Charlie Sheen, Bruce Willis and Robert Downey Jr, he even insulted Hugh Hefner!

They hadn't felt like this since Pearl Harbour.

The response, as you would expect from a nation which gave us Superman and The Incredible Hulk, was swift, strong and to the point. After they had woken the next day and downed some stuff to treat the hangover, and some more stuff to treat the fact that they had woken up at all, Hollywood fought back.

Ricky Gervais, they said, would never shove humble pie, or whatever it was he was peddling, down our throats in our town again. Ever.

It took several months for the outrage to abate, and for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which runs the Golden Globe Awards, to invite Mr Gervais back to host the 2012 awards.

Huh? Am I the only one confused here?

George Bernard Shaw once said, "England and America are two countries separated by a common language." It means that there are some fundamental differences in the way they use English.

Take, for example, the concept of irony. In the UK, there is a fine line between irony and sarcasm, and yet British history is rich with comedians who have danced on that line and royally entertained us as they did so.

In the US, however, the line is a thick one and tends more to divide slapstick and sarcasm, and the line itself is a no-go zone. Subtlety, paradox and (worst of all) irony are not the currency of Hollywood. Motto: In Charlie Chaplin, Abbott and Costello and The Three Stooges We Trust.

What do you expect of the inventors of canned laughter?

Gervais's infra dig humour at the 2010 and 2011 Golden Globe Awards crossed a cultural divide which was already entrenched 100 years ago in Bernard Shaw's day. No wonder they were baying for his blood, and that of the misled morons who run the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

Why on earth would they invite him back a second time, let alone a third?

Ratings.

Showbiz awards ceremonies, including the Oscars, have been falling from grace for some years. Not enough reality perhaps, but whatever the reason, the Golden Globes was experiencing an annual decline of interest along with the rest of them, an industry-wide trend which appeared cyclical and irresistible.

Until Ricky Gervais lobbed in 2010 and made tabloid headlines throughout the known universe. Yes, that's why they invited him back in 2011 for a repeat dose. Ratings.

And that's why they invited him back for the 2012 event last weekend. Except, this time, all his insults had the power of a powder puff. All titter, no terror. Just when he was bringing to Hollywood a sea change, a new understanding, a sweeping vision of comedic nuance as perfected and performed by Brits since the time of Chaucer, Gervais went lame and became a Hollywood local.

I don't know why. I just don't understand the whole Golden Globes and Ricky Gervais thing.
Ricky Gervais picture: Finlay MacKay, Time Magazine. An abbreviated version of this article first appeared in mX newspaper in Australia.

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Cyclists, you have been Warned

January 18th 2012 01:14
:
shane warne
Australian media services are in a frenzy today with follow-ups to the story about Shane Warne having a roadside altercation with a cyclist.

Warne, who has dual A-list celebrity status for services to cricket and services to men's hair, was driving home on Tuesday when he was forced to look annoyed at the antics of a cyclist. Some reports suggest Warne may even have gesticulated.

There is no argument that the cyclist was a hoon. He apparently approached Warne's car from behind, grabbed hold and helped himself to a free ride for some distance. When Warne reacted, the cyclist rode past the vehicle and braked in front of it, holding up traffic.

This, of course, created a potentially dangerous situation. Authorities really must look into keeping the public at greater distance from A-list celebrities.

The situation also raised important questions about the inability of modern journalists to recognise a Ferrari. "I do not own a Ferrari," said Warne, in response to the initial story which claimed that's what he was driving. "I own a Mercedes and a Chrysler," he elaborated.

Further disturbing developments emerged today after Warne created a series of Tweets, not one of which contained a reference to sex. Instead, Warne went on a Tweet rampage against the unfettered freedom of the public in terms of access to roads while mounted on bicycles.

This is a sensitive issue which has been simmering, at sub-celebrity level, for some time. Now that an A-lister has taken a stance, however, the Twittersphere is abuzz.

One media report today said Warne's view had received support from "B-listers" Lara Bingle and Holly Valance, as well as from celebrity journalist Tracey Grimshaw. This raises further serious questions, such as whether B-listers should be mentioned in the same story as an A-lister and, crucially, whether it implies that Tracey Grimshaw is a C-lister.




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Australian thin king

January 6th 2012 05:48
:  
bikini atomic power plant
A picture of a woman in a bikini in front of a Russian atomic power plant. This picture is only vaguely related to the story below.
Many years ago I heard a marvellous story involving political intrigue, back-room diplomacy and technological marvel.

It was a story from the 1980s and involved an American scientific breakthrough, the development of a filament so thin that it could only be seen under a microscopic. It was way thinner than the cables commonly used at that time to carry stuff like electricity. It was the thinnest filament ever produced by man


[ Click here to read more ]
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Breaking and decorating

November 15th 2011 02:16
:  
Some burglars are badder than others.

Terry Trent seems to be of the less evil kinds. When he broke into a home in Vandalia, Ohio, recently, he didn't exactly follow the manual of standard burglary procedure


[ Click here to read more ]
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Cold arm of the law

May 3rd 2011 03:49
: Vyoos news
cat teases german shepherds
Roads less travelled

VYOOS EDITORIAL
You'd think Alaskans would be a little more tolerant of the spirit of adventure


[ Click here to read more ]
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Vintage television

April 22nd 2011 00:51
: Vyoos news
1936 television

In 1936, just three weeks after television transmissions began in Britain, a man in London made a decision to spend just under 100 pounds on a TV set.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Even fools can dream

April 15th 2011 03:49
: Vyoos news
confidence trick

Of all the categories of criminal activity, the public is arguably most ambivalent about confidence tricksters.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Is that tea you're wearing?

April 6th 2011 03:35
: Vyoos news
tea perfume
Just hours after our very own Blog of Lists published this list of favourite smells comes news of a British survey of favourite aromas. We are not saying they are copying our ideas, but it smells fishy. We might ask out lawyers to sniff around.

The British apparently voted fresh bread as their favourite smell, followed by mown grass, clean laundry, tea, coffee, BBQ, petrol, chocolate, cakes and new books


[ Click here to read more ]
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: Vyoos news
charlie sheen
Charlie Sheen, recently fired from his day job, has had a disappointing start to his new stage career.

Sheen spent no time moping after he was fired from Two and a Half Men, quickly creating a stage show and announcing an American tour


[ Click here to read more ]
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